


罪人 [sinner]

by MayJestic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Anal Fingering, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Coming Untouched, Dancer Armin Arlert, Dancer Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Dark Past, Everyone Is Gay, Explicit Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Face-Fucking, Gay Armin Arlert, Gay Eren Yeager, Gay Erwin Smith, Gay Jean Kirstein, Gay Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Gay Marco Bott, Gay Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kissing, Light Angst, Lingerie, M/M, Male Hange Zoë, Nipple Play, Past Rape/Non-con, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous relationship, Polyamory, Power Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Resolved Sexual Tension, Riding, Sexual Tension, Slight degradation kink, Stalking, Top Eren Yeager, Unsafe Sex, blowjob
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 01:00:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14989319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayJestic/pseuds/MayJestic
Summary: "Anyway, anything new going on here? The place looks pretty packed.", I asked, my eyes scimming over the crowd of people on the dance floor and gathering around the stage."We actually have a new male pole dancer.", Armin spoke, a smirk creeping onto his lips. I raised my eyebrows, suddenly interested."A new male pole dancer?" Armin nodded, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth."His name's Levi. He's quite a snack, if I dare say so.""Oh, really?" Armin nodded his head towards the direction of the stage."Why don't you go see for yourself?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Metamorphosis](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5847046) by [Dressed_In_Darkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dressed_In_Darkness/pseuds/Dressed_In_Darkness). 



> Hear me out, okay? So, I read this absolutely amazing fanfic and I died. I'm dead on the floor right now.  
> Anyway, it inspired me so much that I wanted to make my own kind of version of it. I changed the characters slightly and the plot is also a little different, but the general idea of this fic was one hundred inspired by Dressed_In_Darkness and their amazing ereri fic called Metamorphosis! (If you read this, I want to tell you that you created something amazing and that you have been a huge inspiration for my writing style! So, thank you so much!)  
> I hope you all enjoy!

"Woah, what's wrong with your face?", Armin asked, setting the glass he had been drying off down on the counter to poke at my cheek. "It's all contorted." I immediately swatted his hand away. 

"Not today, Armin.", I spoke. "I've been having a shitty enough day already."

"Oh, come on, I'm just teasing you!" A bright smile creeped onto Armin's lips, his extremely cheerful and frisky attitude never faultering, which wasn't necessarily a good thing. Armin never knew when to quit. "What happened, honey? Did you get your heart broken again?" 

"No. Besides, I'm usually the one breaking hearts.", I quietly scoffed, grabbing a pack of cigarettes from my back pocket. "But I would feel a lot better if you would let me smoke in here."

"I could just give you a lap dance. That always used to make you feel better, right?"

"I think I'll pass this time." I put on the sweetest smile I could muster, already putting a cigarette in my mouth and drawing the lighter. Armin sighed in defeat, pinching the bridge of his nose to try and calm himself down. 

"Argh, fine. But I won't cover for you this time in case Mikasa asks who smoked in here.", the blonde threatened me, raising a warning finger as if he was reprimanding a child. I simply rolled my eyes, having gone through this same type of spiel countless times before. I lit the smoke, taking a big pull on my cigarette and closing my eyes as I breathed in the smoke and could feel it instantaneously calming my nerves as it filled my lungs, before I blew the fume out again through my mouth. 

"Now, spill the tea. What happened?", Armin asked, leaning on the counter of the bar with his forearms, his eyes slightly twinkling with genuine concern. I sighed defeatedly. I knew there was no way around this. Armin was the most determined and eager person I had ever met, if he wanted something, he was going to get it one way or another. Besides, I trusted Armin. He had been the only person in my life I could always count and rely on. 

"My dad finally decided to kick me out.", I spoke, taking another long pull from my cigarette, feeling the smoke burn my lungs. For some reason, I kind of liked that burn. I turned my head and blew the smoke off to the side, aware of the fact that Armin was a strict non-smoker and hated the smell of cigarettes. Armin looked ready to commit mass murder. From day one it was clear that Armin didn't like my dad and that fact hadn't changed one bit as the years passed. 

"Well, fuck him. It's a blessing you're out of that hell hole for good.", Armin spoke, annoyance evident in his tone as he threw the towel he had been using to dry off cleaned whiskey and cocktail glasses with over his shoulder. "How did all of this start anyway?"

"When he barged into my room as I was naked on my bed, shoving four fingers down my ass." I slightly chuckled at the memory. I was seventeen and had just begun to figure out the actual reason why I didn't feel the slightest bit of attraction towards girls. I had never really paid it any mind before, but that day my thoughts had drifted off in a completely different direction than they were originally supposed to. I was actually enjoying myself quite well, until my father swung the door open and gave me the worst beating of my entire life. He thought wanting to punch the faggot out of me would justify his actions.

From that point on, my father kept terrorizing me, abusing me both verbally and physically, setting me up on blind dates with random girls and even going as far as hiring prostitutes, thinking that I was going to have some kind of revelation. My father felt guilty about his capability as a parent. I had no job and staying with him was my only option because of my criminal record. 

"I don't regret it one bit.", I said, taking a sip from my drink. And that was true. I couldn't change the fact that I was gay. I had come to terms with that fact long ago, despite my father's desperate efforts of wanting to change me into someone I wasn't. 

"Damn right, sis.", Armin agreed, letting his tongue pop. I let out a content sigh. It felt good to talk to someone about this. It had been bugging me for a long time and I hadn't seen any of my friends from the club in a while. In my eyes, it had been too long. They were like my second family. 

"Anyway, anything new going on here? The place looks pretty packed.", I asked, my eyes scimming over the crowd of people on the dance floor and gathering around the stage. 

"We actually have a new male pole dancer.", Armin spoke, a smirk creeping onto his lips. I raised my eyebrows, suddenly interested. 

"A new male pole dancer?" Armin nodded, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. 

"His name's Levi. He's quite a snack, if I dare say so." 

"Oh, really?" Armin nodded his head towards the direction of the stage. 

"Why don't you go see for yourself?", Armin asked just as the lights dimmed and slow-paced, sensual music started playing. The crowd started cheering the moment a petite frame, only dressed in leather shorts, fishnet stockings and high heels that looked way too high to still be comfortable, walked onto the stage with his hands on his hips. I supposed that was Levi, the club's new male pole dancer. Levi had a teasing smirk on his lips and threw a quick wink at the general direction of the crowd, as he grabbed onto the pole and started swinging his hips to the beat to get the crowd slightly riled up and engaged in his performance. Keeping his eyes fixed on the crowd, he moved down the pole until his bottom was almost touching the stage. I could feel my breath hitch in my throat. 

Levi grabbed onto the pole with both hands now, wrapping his legs around it and shifting his weight just right so he could start spinning. He was able to contort his body in ways that I never thought were actually humanly possible without inflicting excrutiating pain. It was extremely impressive. (And also extremely hot)

His performance kept going on like that for several minutes, until the song ended and Jean and Ymir had to escort Levi off the stage. The three of them passed by the bar on their way to the dressing room, Levi shooting me a curious look as his eyes roamed over my figure, until they finally landed on my groin, a small smirk creeping onto his lips, before the three of them disappeared behind a corner and from my point of view. I almost fucking choked on my own spit.

That was the moment I noticed the raging hard-on pressing against my jeans. I swallowed thickly, trying to gulp down the sandpaper that seemed to have coated my throat.

"Oh, my goodness.", Armin breathed, barely above a whisper. "You have the hots for him!"

"Shut it.", I spat through gritted teeth, taking another pull from my cigarette to try and calm my nerves, before carelessly throwing the smoke on the floor and putting it out with my foot. Armin simply scoffed.

"You totally do.", he almost purred, accompanied by a wink. I shifted in my seat, the boner I was sporting beginning to become uncomfortable. Armin seemed to notice.

"Look, honey.", the blonde spoke in a soft voice, grabbing my hand from across the counter and gently stroking his thumb over the back of it. "It's okay that you want to do filthy things to him. We've all been there one way or another." I chuckled.

"You mean the same type of filthy things that Jean does to you?"

"Hey!", Armin reprimanded, basically shoving a finger in my face, his facade quickly breaking as he laughed. "Don't even get me started. I'm still sore from Jean pounding away at me last night. I really desperately wanted to work the pole myself today." I simply rolled my eyes, taking the last swig from my glass of whiskey, the amber liquid inflicting a burn as it flowed down my throat.

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that pining after a piece of that ass is probably pointless. He keeps the pole dancing strictly professional." 

"Wanna bet I can get to first base with him?" Armin's eyebrows shot up in interest. 

"Oh, you're on, Jaeger.", he smirked. Armin was always up for a bet. 

"Armin, one atomic cocktail. My feet are killing me and it doesn't happen too often that I actually find interest in sitting down with you punks after work." I turned my head in the general direction of where the to me unknown voice had resonated from, seeing Levi walk right past me, dressed in a more casual attire, with Jean and Ymir in tow. 

"Count me in as well.", Ymir spoke as she let out a deep groan, creaking her neck. "I'm so out of this dump."

"Two atomic cocktails, coming right up.", Armin called out as he turned around to prepare their drinks, shooting me a knowing look in the process, only receiving one of my most deadly glares in return. Levi sat down right next to me and crossed his legs, leaning on the counter, his back arching in a way that caused a lump to grow in my throat. I swallowed thickly, shaking my head slightly to try and chase those types of thoughts away. Once Armin was done with the drinks, he set the two cocktail glasses down on the bar. Levi grabbed the glass and lifted it to his lips, taking a small sip, his gaze meeting mine in the process. It felt as if those magnificent silver eyes were staring right into my soul. He sat the glass down on the counter again, the expression he was wearing impossible to read. 

"I don't think I've ever seen you here before.", Levi spoke in a deep, silky voice, his tone sounding almost sultry. 

"The name's Eren.", I said with a quiet chuckle, reaching my hand out for him to shake. He sceptically mustered my outstretched for a couple of seconds, seeming to hesitate, before he grabbed it with a firm grip, a shiver running up my arm and down my spine the moment our skin touched. 

"Levi.", he exclaimed, his strong gaze on me never faltering, causing a big smirk to creep onto my lips. His aggressive attitude made the earlier hard-on that had slowly begun to subside come back with full force. Someone cleared their throat awkwardly, tearing my attention away from Levi and automatically clearing up the tension. 

"Anyway, where do you plan on crashing, Eren?", Armin asked. I pulled another smoke from my back pocket, putting it into my mouth and lighting it, immediately taking a pull. I needed to smoke in that moment to keep myself from going completely insane. 

"'Dunno.", I mumbled, blowing the fume out through my nose. 

"Well, you can crash at mine and Jean's place, if you want. We have a guest room.", Armin proposed, shooting me a cheer-up smile. The guy was a fucking lifesaver. 

"Fine. But the moment I see a cum stain anywhere I'm immediately packing my bags and heading out the door.", I joked. "And try to have sex in your dressing room or wherever. I don't want to witness Jean fucking your brains out at three a.m." 

"I'm sure Mikasa would appreciate that.", Armin spoke ironically, shooting his boyfriend a knowing look, accompanied with a wink. I cringed, definitely not wanting to know how often Mikasa had to clean up after those two.

"Thank God, I finally found you!" Everyone let out a deep sigh as Hange approached the bar, grasping a stack of paper tightly in his hands. 

"Hange! What's up?", Armin asked, grabbing Levi and Ymir's empty glasses from the bar, setting them down in the sink to clean up later. Hange smiled brightly, handing everyone a sheet. 

"These are the plans for tomorrow. And I swear to God, if any one decides to skip work, be prepared for a beating. I'm putting all of you on cleaning duty if something like last time ever happens again.", he spoke in a stern tone of voice, raising an accusing finger at the whole group. I quickly skimmed over the page, my eyes coming to a standstill as I read the words 'motto night'. 

"Motto night?", I asked, sounding obviously confused. Everyone, except for Hange and me, let out a simultaneous groan. Despite the fact that I hadn't seen my friends from the club in ages, I always knew that Hange had been trying his absolute hardest to combine work and pleasantry. I just never thought he would actually be able to pull it off, considering that his boyfriend Erwin, who was running the show, was very serious about keeping the business respectable and legitimate. 

"Indeed.", Hange spoke, the huge, bright grin on his face only growing. "Tomorrow's motto is cowboys/cowgirls. Me and Mike originally wanted to set up a mechanic bull but we sadly weren't able to convince Erwin. Well, maybe fucking his brains out tonight will be enough to. We'll just have to see.", he spoke matter-of-factly with an innocent smile decorating his features, as if bribing their boyfriend into doing something the both of them wanted with sex was something they did on a regular basis. 

"And Armin, make sure to dress up Eren tomorrow. And Levi, too. I've been looking forward to seeing him in leather straps for ages now.", Hange smirked, giving Levi's ass a quick slap, before walking off in the direction of his boyfriend's office. 

"By the way, don't come into Erwin's office for the rest of the night. We still have to buy him over.", Hange called over his shoulder, shooting the entire group a quick wink, before disappearing into the crowd of people remaining on the dancefloor and from our sight. 

"Oh, my goodness, I'm gonna be having so much fun tomorrow. I'll definitely put Levi into some nice suspender tights.", Armin spoke, almost bursting with joy. I let out a quiet groan at that statement, just the thought of seeing Levi in suspender tights causing me to shift in my seat. 

"Whatever floats your boat, I guess.", Levi spoke with a breathy chuckle, the sound reverberating inside my head, seemingly imprinted into my skull, his silver eyes roaming over my figure in a way that made my skin tingle.

"Anyway, my shift's done. I think it's time to call it a night." Armin let out a long yawn as he stretched, creaking several bones. "Seems like you're gonna have to give me a ride, Eren. Jean's still on duty until two." 

"Well," I sighed as I got up from the bar stool I had been sitting on for the past few hours. "It was nice meeting you, Levi. I'll see you tomorrow." I turned around, shooting him a quick smirk over my shoulder before exiting the club together with Armin. We walked towards the parking lot in silence for a couple of minutes, until Armin decided to speak up. 

"Look, Eren.", he spoke, coming to a standstill. I stopped wallking as well, raising my eyebrows, silently urging Armin to keep going. 

"I know you're trying to get with Levi and I'm trying to do my best to help you out, but I still want you to be careful with him." 

"Armin, I know how protection works, you don't have to-" 

"That's not what I meant.", Armin interrupted me, slightly fidgeting with his thumbs as he bit down on his lower lip so forcefully, it seemed as if he was going to draw blood. I let out a quiet sigh. Armin always had to beat around the bush. After all this time of being friends, Armin was still scared I was going to snap at him in case he got too direct. 

"Then what did you mean?" 

"Levi has a rough past."

"Don't we all?", I asked rhetorically as I let out a cold chuckle, memories flashing before my eyes. Crimson stained concrete, my time in prison, my cellmate groping me, holding me down on the bed, my screams echoing off the walls. How none of the guards came, even though they all witnessed me getting raped. 

"I'm not going to tell you what happened, because it's extremely fucked up. If Levi wants you to know, he can take care of that himself."

"Then why are we even talking about this at all?" Armin let out a long, deep sigh, ruffling a hand through his blonde hair. It was unusual to not see Armin in his regular happy, up-beat state. 

"What happened to you in jail must surely have left some scars as well." I raised my hand and began smoothing over tousled hair with a soft smile decorating my features, Armin slightly leaning into the touch. Armin had always cared so much about me, I felt it was beginning to become unhealthy. 

"Don't worry about me. A lot of time has passed.", I spoke, trying to make my voice sound as soft and reassuring as possible and letting my hand fall to my side again. Armin seemed to calm down, a small, hesitant smile creeping onto his lips. 

"So I'll still get to play dress up tomorrow?" I let out a quiet chuckle and nodded. Armin seemed as if he wanted to jump out of his skin in happiness. 

"Yes!", he called out, raising a victorious fist into the air. "Seriously, the outift I'm going to be assembling for Levi will be downright sinful. You're gonna be kissing my sweet ass by the end of tomorrow." I simply rolled my eyes as the both of us continued walking again. 

"Whatever you say, pal."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just Eren getting a boner for Levi and Hange being... Well, Hange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I originally wanted to release this chapter a little earlier, but I wrote my last final on monday and got drunk as hell. You can imagine how that turned out for me the next day.  
> But now that all this school crap is over, I finally feel more relaxed and will have a lot of time to write! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! (Also, I apologize for this being extremely short. The next chapter will be full of action though!)

"I look absolutely stupid.", I spoke, crossing my arms in front of my chest in protest like a small child. Armin rolled his eyes, walking up to me and straightening out the vest I was wearing. 

"You look great. In fact, I would gladly take a piece of that ass if I wasn't committed to a certain someone already.", Armin confessed, picking up the brown cowboy hat he had chosen for me and setting it on top of my head. "I'm positive Levi will like seeing you in this outfit too. He's gonna be ready to ride. And I don't mean that mechanical bull out there." The blonde pointed towards the door, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively with a huge smirk decorating his features. 

"You think so?", I asked as my voice wavered slightly, hoping that Armin hadn't noticed from my tone that I was feeling incredibly nervous and insecure. It had been a while since I had last felt genuinely interested in someone else. Armin let out an exhausted groan. 

"Are you shitting me right now? Levi was literally eye fucking you every chance he got. What are you so afraid of?", Armin questioned, taking the tube of mascara from his vanity table and going over his lashes one more time to bring them to perfection. Armin took the makeup game pretty seriously, especially when he was going to perform and work the pole that day. "You're the literal embodiment of smoking hot, so calm your tits." I quietly chuckled at that statement. 

"I just haven't been with anyone in a while. At this point, it's kind of strange to feel interested in someone." Armin set down the mascara on the table again and turned around, lightly squeezing my hand and gently stroking his thumb over the back of it with a small smile on his face. 

"I get that you're scared. But having sex is like riding a bike. Fortunately, you never unlearn it." Armin let go of my hand, turning me around and pushing me towards the door of his dressing room. "Now get out of here. Levi's probably sitting at the bar right now, all alone and in all his glory." I quirked an eyebrow. 

"How many boners would you give his outfit on a scale of one to ten?" 

"A clear ten.", Armin didn't even have to think about what he was going to say, answering almost as soon as I had popped the question.  

"Well, fuck me.", I stated, my throat feeling extremely dry all of a sudden, causing me to swallow heavily. 

"Levi most certainly will." I looked over my shoulder as I felt Armin's fingers slide something into the back pocket of my jeans, catching a glimpse of a square, vibrantly purple packaging. I let out a long, irritated sigh, which quickly turned into a breathy chuckle. 

"Really? A condom? And it's even blueberry flavored? God, you're worse than my mom." The blonde got on his tiptoes, leaning up towards my ear. 

"Go get him, tiger.", he whispered, a big grin creeping onto his lips as he twisted the knob, swinging the door open before forcefully pushing me out of the dressing room. I turned around, slightly taken aback. I didn't know that Armin had gotten ripped enough to be able to push me around during the time that I was gone. An innocent smile decorated my best friend's features. 

"If you come into my dressing room again within the next fifteen minutes, be prepared for a beating. By the way, while you're at it, tell Jean to swing his sweet ass over here, I need something taken care of." Armin batted his eyelashes guiltlessly, shifting a little uncomfortably. I couldn't supress my laughter.

"You're absolutely unbelievable." 

"Oh, get lost already.", Armin spoke in a humorous tone as he slammed the door shut on me. I simply shook my head, taking a couple of deep breaths before making my way down the hall and towards the bar, my heart beating loudly in my chest because of how nervous I was feeling in that moment. When I reached the bar, my jaw dropped open, a series of incomprehensible sounds leaving my mouth as I took in every inch of the sight before me. Levi was leaning on the counter of the bar with his forearms, his back arching in that way that caused me to shift in place, wearing a mesh crop top, lace panties and black thigh high see through stockings attached to a matching garter belt which acted as the cherry on top of the already way too delicious cake. The only two pieces of clothing that still let his attire pass as a cowboy outfit were the black cowboy hat and the black leather block heel ankle boots. 

I shook my head, trying to chase away my way too dirty train of thought and clearing my throat. It really took a lot for me to speak. 

That was the moment I heard a quiet groan followed by numerous curse words and noticed Jean lying on the floor beneath the sink, wrench gripped tightly in his hand, a metal pipe in the other. 

"Jean, what are you doing?" 

"The sink broke. Gotta fix it.", he gritted out between clenched teeth. 

"Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your work, but Armin-" As if bitten by a tarantula, Jean jumped up from the floor, the wrench and pipe clattering as they dropped onto the tiles. He raised his shirt over his head, holding it into the air, a victorious outcry leaving him as he walked down the hallway and towards Armin's dressing room. I simply shook my head as I let out a quiet chuckle. Those two were absolutely shameless and unbelievable. They fit each other perfectly.

I turned my attention towards Levi again, who was already mustering me with a look that I couldn't quite read, causing my mouth to go extremely dry once again. I cleared my throat, almost breaking out into a coughing fit. 

"You look good.", I stated, my voice slightly wavering, hoping that Levi wouldn't notice that the raging hard-on pressing against my jeans was beginning to become uncomfortable as I shifted in place. I didn't even detect Marco, who had been working the bar as a replacement for Armin, leaving me alone to talk with Levi and scurrying off in the general direction of Erwin's office. 

"Why are you so nervous? I don't bite.", Levi said with a quiet, breathy chuckle that made my spine tingle, moving closer to me so that our chests were almost touching. "Well, not unless you want me to." The both of us were standing so close, I could feel his breath ghosting over my face as he spoke. I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths as I gritted my teeth. I was trying my absolute best to not jump his bones at that very instant. I turned around, leaning on the counter for support. 

"Fuck, don't say shit like that." 

"Why not? You seem to be enjoying it.", he stated while motioning towards my lower area. 

"Look," I spoke while standing up straight and facing Levi again. "You want me. I want you. But if we're doing this, there's no going back." Levi simply nodded, a small smirk creeping onto his lips. 

"God, if I could I would bend you over the bar and fuck your brains out right now." 

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?", Levi scoffed, leaning on the counter again with his forearms. 

"Hell yeah. I've never wanted anyone the same way I want you." Levi's expression suddenly changed. He looked hesitant, almost timid, a small blush dusting his cheeks a light pink. Now it was my turn to scoff. After everything that little shit had said, he had the nerve to become embarrassed. 

"Meet me in my dressing room after my performance is over. I want you to fuck me in this outfit." I let out a quiet groan just at the thought of that. 

"Eren! Levi! You two seem to be getting along well.", I heard Hange, who was walking up to the bar with Marco and Mikasa in tow, say in his usually cheery, hyped up mood. I almost choked on my own spit at that statement. "Where are Armin and Jean?" I let out a long, annoyed sigh as I pointed towards the direction of Armin's dressing room. Hange seemed to immediately understand, pinching the bridge of his nose to calm himself down. 

"Why do those two always screw around when they're on the clock?", Hange muttered quietly to himself, as he began walking down the hall, banging his fist on the door violently once he had reached Armin's dressing room. "Jean! Armin! How many times do I have to tell the both of you that boning in the dressing rooms before work is taboo? Get out of there, we have shit to do!" Hange returned to the bar about a minute later together with Armin and Jean, both of them blushing madly as they stared at the ground, their clothes completely disheveled. I let out a quiet snicker. Hange ran one hand through his brown, silky locks and straightened out his yellow shirt with a small smile creeping onto his lips as he spoke up again. 

"So, now that that's settled," Hange announced as he walked towards the fridge behind the bar and got himself a beer before sitting down on one of the stools. "As you all know, it's tradition to play drinking games after duty on motto night. No one's getting away with shitty excuses this time." Hange pointed a reprimanding finger at the whole group. 

"Also, no one's staying sober tonight. So, you better start drinking now.", Hange spoke with a shrug, taking a big gulp from his bottle of beer. 

"But, sir.", Marco decided to chime in, drawing everyone's attention. The whole squad was staring at the guy with a surprised expression on their face since Marco barely managed to open his mouth. "It's barely five in the afternoon." Hange let out a chuckle, causing Marco's freckled cheeks to grow a light shade of red in embarrassment. 

"Oh, honey, I could eat you right up. I think I should let Armin dress you up today for the occasion. I'd absolutely love to see that cute ass of yours in some leather.", Hange spoke, his voice taking on a somewhat sultry tone, as he bit his lower lip and shot Marco a quick wink, Marco blushing an even darker tint of red. Levi lightly hit Hange's upper arm. 

"Come on, four-eyes, don't hit on the poor new guy. He's barely an adult." Marco was the youngest of all the employees with the fresh age of twenty one. Hange simply shot Levi a death glare over his shoulder at that statement. 

"What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't worry about that, baby boy. When I was your age, I would go to all kinds of parties and festivals and already lie in a ditch at two o'clock.", Hange spoke in a dreamy tone of voice, letting out a long, nostalgic sigh. "Those were the days." I saw Levi roll his eyes as Hange said that. 

"Hange, you're barely thirty. You talk like my freaking grandma." 

"That's because it's true! I stopped having fun the moment I decided I wanted to become a father." Levi rolled his eyes once again as he let out an exasperated, drawn out groan, whooping Hange, with more force this time, over the back of the head, causing him to yelp in both surprise and pain. 

"Adopting that child was the best thing that could have ever happened to you. All three of you. Now stop whining." Hange downed the rest of his beer bottle and slammed it down on the counter once he was finished. No one said anything, the awkward tension so thick and heavy in the room, it felt as if it was actually physically present, engulfing us and weighing hard on our bodies. I decided to break the silence, the fact that not even Hange was talking, even though he always did, making me feel extremely uncomfortable. 

"Anyway, what games were you thinking about playing, Hange?" Hange immediately visibly lit up, adjusting his glasses that had skidded down the bridge of his nose with a big smile creeping onto his lips. 

"Well, since you two aren't familiar with each other yet," Hange motioned towards me and Levi. "I thought maybe we could do a little game of 'Never Have I Ever'. Or maybe 'Truth or Drink'. Or 'Fear Pong'. I haven't decided yet. Maybe we'll do all three of those. Who knows.", Hange spoke with a shrug. I let out a quiet chuckle as I shot Levi a knowing look as inconspicuosly as possible. 

"This is surely going to be interesting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is about to turn smutty.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi get interrupted doing some dirty things as Levi's ex boyfriend returns after years of the both of them not having seen each other. Drama ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up: right at the beginning of this chapter is smut, just so you're prepared. Anyway, as always, getting this out took me way too long as always but it was my mother's birthday a couple days ago and I couldn't write yada yada yada, you know the drill. I'm a slow writer in general and things getting in the way always slow me down even more. Plus, I'm not very experienced with smut and it just takes a while. I tried my best, I hope you enjoy!

"God, your performance was - it drove me fucking wild.", I mumbled against the soft skin of Levi's neck, the shorter male letting out a gasp as I sank my teeth into the skin there, tongue traveling up to the tip of his ear. 

"Get on with it already.", he spoke, trying to sound stern and conceal the slight tremble in his voice as my hand roamed south towards the hem of his lingerie, raking my nails over his already exposed chest and toned stomach, sliding my hand down his panties and grabbing his length which already stood at full attention, giving it a few experimental pumps that caused Levi to emit a muffled groan as he bit down on his kiss swollen lips to keep himself quiet, absolutely loving the way his member felt in my palm, so heavy and thick. 

"You're actually pretty big, huh? Didn't expect that.", I exclaimed as I let a smug smirk creep onto my lips, crouching down and sliding the undergarment off his slender legs, a surprised gasp falling from those beautiful lips instead of a retort. Levi was rock hard, the head of his cock flushed and already leaking pre-cum. I grabbed the base of his dick and began stroking it at a slow pace, teasingly thumbing at the slit every now and then, my tongue darting out of my mouth to lick my lower lip. I couldn't help but wonder how his manhood would feel hitting the back of my throat. 

"Fuck. I really want your cock in my mouth.", I stated, fastening the movements of my hand, Levi groaning deep in his throat. 

"Then what the fuck are you waiting for? Suck it." A shiver racked up my spine at Levi's demanding tone, my lips contorting into another grin. At that point I didn't have the patience for any more teasing, simply taking the head of Levi's cock into my mouth and swirling my tongue over it, tasting the saltiness of his pre-come. One of Levi's hands immediately flew upwards to tangle in my hair, yanking hard at the strands, causing me to let out a groan in both pleasure and pain. I slid further down his length, moaning around his member when I could feel the head hit the back of my throat, causing Levi to shiver and whimper because of the vibrations. Not having a gag-reflex was a gift. I soon began bobbing my head in a fast-paced rythm, trying to hold eye contact with Levi the entire time, the raven's grip on my hair becoming even tighter and his moans even louder. 

"Please, Eren, let me fuck your mouth, please.", Levi pleaded, his tone sounding desperate, frustrated. I pulled my mouth off his dick which caused him to let out a long, disappointed whine, raising three of my fingers towards his face. 

"Suck first. Get them nice and wet." Levi immediately obliged, letting out numerous moans as he swirled his tongue around the digits. It made me wonder what else he could do with that tongue, pulling my fingers away again when I deemed them to be slick enough. 

"Spit isn't ideal and this is gonna hurt like a son of a bitch, but I'll try to make it as painless as possible for you.", I spoke, immediately taking his dick into my mouth again, raising one of my spit slicked fingers towards his hole, circling the ring of muscle to get it to loosen a little so I could sink the digit in. Once it was loose enough, I thrusted my finger in to the knuckle, all the while still sucking Levi's dick, eliciting numerous beautiful moans and hisses from the shorter male. I let my gaze wander upwards and met Levi's breathtaking silver eyes which were glazed over with pleasure, nodding my head vigorously and giving him permission to start fucking my mouth. Levi instantly began bucking into the wet heat, putting up a relentless pace that made my eyes water. That was the moment I heard the door behind me swing open. 

"So, this is where you two little shits went.", I heard Armin say and I hurriedly pulled my mouth off Levi's dick with a loud pop, removing my finger from his hole and turning around to face Armin with an innocent smile decorating my features. I could see Levi quickly pull up his panties again out of my peripheral vision. At this point it was useless for him to try covering himself up, since Armin had probably seen everything anyway. 

"Armin! What are you doing here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing.", he spoke, a knowing smirk creeping onto his lips. "But seriously, I need your help." 

"What's going on?", I asked with concern evident in my tone and furrowing my brows as I stood up from the floor again, dusting off my jeans. 

"Some super buff guy came in and began banging on Erwin's office door. Says he wants to see Levi.", Armin spoke nonchalantly with a shrug as he began leaning on the doorframe, making it sound like that type of stuff used to happen regularly at the club, raising a demanding eyebrow at Levi standing behind me. I could hear Levi's breath hitch quietly in his throat at the statement. 

"And what exactly do you want me to do? You know I quit working as a bouncer years ago!" 

"I know, Eren, but I need you. Ymir's not on shift yet and Jean's on the bench since I know he can't control himself. No one will be able to handle this the same way you can.", Armin said in a soft voice, shooting me a hesitant smile. I clenched my fists. I never thought I would be in this type of position again. Not after everything that happened. 

"Who says I will be able to?", I spat out through gritted teeth, my fists tightening, my nails digging into the sensitive flesh of my palm as the memories from that one day that would change my life forever flashed before my eyes. The way my fist collided with a guest's temple, the blood staining the concrete crimson, the police sirens blaring over the loud music coming from inside shrouding me in a big, black coat of guilt and regret and fear and failure. Armin's soothing, comforting voice ripped me from the deep, dark abyss called my thoughts.  

"I do. You aren't the same person you were back then anymore." I closed my eyes for a couple of second, taking numerous deep breaths to try and calm myself before deciding to agree. Armin was right after all. I had really tried to become a better person in all those years that I had been away from my hometown and I was convinced that I had achieved that goal to a certain degree. I surely wasn't perfect, but I had changed quite a bit over time. 

"Fine.", I hissed and began walking towards the door, stopping at the door frame, basically shoving a finger in Armin's face. "But don't think that this will become something permanent. I will never become a motherfucking bouncer ever again." 

"Never say never, Eren.", Armin spat back with just as much venom, shooting me a deadly glare. I was taken aback for a couple of seconds because I had never experienced my always cheery and joyful best friend Armin so angry before, but quickly took ahold of myself again as I stormed off in the direction of Erwin's office, Levi following close behind. Once we reached it, we could already hear muffled screaming coming from inside and I grabbed Levi's forearm, gently pulling him aside. 

"Look, you don't have to do this. I could simply get this guy out of here and you won't have to deal with any of it." Levi's previously fearful, shocked eyes softened, a small smile decorating his features, as he put his hand on top of mine, giving it a light squeeze. 

"I really wish I could, but this has been going on for months now. The sooner I get this over with the better." I nooded and quickly returned his smile as I let go of his arm, concern still plaguing me. It was unclear what this guy was up to and someone could get seriously hurt in case he had bad intentions and I didn't act fast enough. I was especially worried about Levi, since that dude rampaging around in Erwin's office was there to speak with him after all. I twisted the door knob, not even caring about knocking at that point and opened the door to Erwin's office. 

"This is all your fault!", supposedly the buff guy Armin had talked about screamed at Erwin, who was sitting in his chair, his face resting in his hand as he let out a frustrated groan. 

"What the hell is going on here?", I asked, the dude turning around, glaring at me with an expression that could kill. He had blonde short hair and blue eyes. Armin really didn't overexaggerate when he said the guy had muscle. He looked like he hit the gym at least six times a week. The man in question let out a loud gasp when he spotted Levi, his eyes becoming so wide that it seemed as if they were going to pop out of his skull at any second and his jaw almost hitting the floor. 

"What the fuck are you wearing, Levi?", he asked, raising his voice once again, taking a couple of steps forward but I quickly stopped him by grabbing his upper arm. 

"Not a chance. You're not laying a single finger on him." 

"Who the fuck are you?", he questioned, shrugging his arm out of my hold forcefully. 

"His personal bodyguard." The guy barked out a laugh. 

"Alright, Levi, I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but can we please go? I'm getting sick of this place.", he spoke, wrinkling his nose in disgust while mustering Erwin's office critically, as if all the furniture, books and decorations that Hanji had insisted on putting there offended him, his eyes finally landing on me. I clenched my fists and it took every bit of self-control I possessed for me to not punch this guy square in the jaw. Even though he was acting like a total asshole and probably deserved it, I still chose against it, not wanting to destroy everything that had taken all of my strength and will power for me to be able to repair again. Before I could say anything, Levi was already speaking up, basically snatching the words from my mouth.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Farlan.", the raven hissed out through gritted teeth. Farlan was taken aback at his comment, spluttering as he tried to find the right words to bite back. I could see it in his eyes, the anger being ignited like a wildfire.

"What the hell do you mean? Look at what those people did to you! They turned you into a slut! You were so innocent and good before." Levi's eyes widened at being called a slut, but he quickly regained his composure, closing his eyes for a couple of seconds and taking deep breaths to calm himself down.

"This is what I want, Farlan.", he spoke in a soft voice, obviously forcing himself to not snap at the man standing in front of him.

"I can't believe this.", Farlan quietly muttered to himself, letting out a long, hopeless sounding sigh at the end as he took another couple of steps forward. I was about to jump at the guy and stop him from being able to touch Levi once again, but the raven held up a hand, signalling that it was okay, shooting me a reassuring smile. I backed down, trusting Levi's judgement. 

"You're coming with me right now!" Before I could react, Farlan had already grabbed Levi's forearm, beginning to forcefully drag him towards the door of the office. I jumped, Erwin rising from his seat at his desk as well, but stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the harsh sound of skin slapping against skin. Farlan was clutching at his cheek which was blazing red with a shocked expression on his face. A proud smirk creeped onto my lips at the realization that Levi had bitchslapped the guy, just like he deserved it. 

"Don't ever touch me again.", Levi spat through gritted teeth. "You wanna know why I left your stinky ass? Because I grew the fuck up and noticed what a piece of shit you are. I'm not yours to command anymore. I never will be again." I could see tears well up in Levi's eyes as he spoke and a little part of me broke somehow. I didn't even want to imagine what Farlan must have done to Levi for the raven to hate the guy this much. 

"Get him out of here.", Levi asked, his voice slightly wavering and his lower lip quivering, as he turned his attention towards me with pleading eyes. Levi was begging. This man's touch was rough, his hands calloused and laced with the enjoyment of destroying others. His tone of voice was abusing, his vocal cords being used like weapons and capable of inflicting wounds that pain killers simply couldn't fix. Being in this man's presence alone hurt Levi. And I was going to do everything in my power to make the pain stop. I gave a quick nod, grabbing Farlan by his upper arm once again, but, surprisingly, he didn't resist this time as I escorted him back to the front entrance, the weird feeling in my gut not leaving me. 

This was only the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first couple of romantically coded scenes between those two, don't worry, there will be a lot more and their relationship will definitely get some development! And don't worry, they'll even continue what they started in the beginning of this chapter. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren lets himself be vulnerable around Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, will I ever be able to create a steady upload pattern? Probably not. Anyway, somehow this chapter kind of wrote itself? Like, I didn't even have to do much, the words just flowed onto the page like that. In this chapter I poured out all my feelings and wrote about things that I sort of relate to to a certain degree, so yeah. You can probably tell that it wasn't easy to write this nor is it easy to post this. Also, this chapter was initially supposed to turn out way differently than it actually did, but oh well. The next chapter will be less angsty and more casual and really fun! I'm already looking forward to writing it. And by the way, there's a lot of romantically coded Eren/Levi in this and a lot of people will say that those two haven't known each other long enough for that (like, literally one day), but I personally think slow-burn can be really annoying sometimes. Besides, this is my fucking fanfiction and I'll do what I fucking want. Ao3 is a place for me to go absolute ham with all the ideas I'm having. I'm not just writing for my readers, I'm also doing this for myself and this is my story. So, if you don't like something, you can easily leave. But a special thanks to everyone else for staying with me on this journey! I haven't really felt positive about anything I was writing these past couple of months but I feel really good about this fic and I really want to finish it! Anyway, my notes are getting way too long once again, I hope you'll enjoy the chapter! Even though it's a couple hundred words shorter than usual, I really gave it my all!

~~~~Hange barged through the front door of club Rose with an oddly bright, way too bright considering the current situation, smile decorating his features, a bag of McD's take out grasped tightly in his hand.

"Time for some murder.", he spoke, as he strode towards the bar in large steps, his stance confident and certain. He sat down the bag of take out on the counter, which emitted a strong smell of grease and fried food, his smile only widening. I didn't know whether or not I should be laughing or shitting my pants at Hange's attitude, so I settled for a mix of both, a nervous chuckle leaving my lips. I didn't know Hange that well in comparison to some of the other employees who worked at the club, but I knew that his friends and family were everything to him. He sure as hell wasn't afraid to do what was absolutely necessary to protect those he loved. I liked to think that this counts for most people, but I'm sure no one would be able to take it as far as Hange. I had a hard time figuring out if that was a bad thing or not. 

"Hange, I swear to God, if you threaten one of my exes ever again, I will quit my job.", Levi threatened, his voice coming out muffled, his face resting in his hands as he let out a frustrated groan. 

"Wait," I interrupted, letting out another slightly disturbed chuckle. "You mean he's acted this way before?" Levi nodded. 

"All of the employees have had to go through this type of procedure after a breakup. Especially Mikasa had it bad, being the only confirmed straight one." 

"Could you stop talking about me like I'm not standing right next to you?", Hange asked in an annoyed voice, walking around the bar and grabbing himself a glass of whiskey and a bottle of whiskey from the shelf above the sink. "And excuse me for caring about you." Hange poured himself a glass, sitting down on the bar stool right next to the one Levi had already taken a seat on. 

"Look, if you don't want me to skin him alive and throw his corpse into a river, I'll just leave it be. But you know what I always say.", Hange announced, raising his glass as if he was making a toast. "Shit goes south, we drink." Hange finished off his little saying with lifting the glass of whiskey to his lips and taking a big swig. 

"If you're not gonna let me murder him like he deserves, we have to at least do that." Levi let out a sigh in defeat. 

"You know what? Fine.", Levi relented, shooting Hange a couple of glares as he stood up from his seat at the bar. "Anything to get rid of this fucking headache." Levi took a beer from the fridge, twisting the cap open and taking a couple of big gulps, his Adam's apple bobbing while doing so, causing me to swallow thickly. I spotted a brightly pink patch near his pulse point and was secretly wishing that the shorter male had let me keep marking him. I wanted to show everyone that he was mine, that he was basically putty in my hands and that I would be able to do whatever I desired to him. But I guess the feeling was mutual. He had seduced me and I was liking it. I was liking the feeling of not being one hundred percent in control. I was liking the fact that someone had managed to make my walls crumble around me and that I had let it on and wasn't fighting against it like I usually would. 

"By the way, I completely forgot to thank you, Eren.", Hange spoke as he got up from his seat again, stretching out his hand for me to shake. "You acted without hesitation. You got Levi out of a potentially dangerous situation. I will be forever thankful to you for not letting him get hurt." I shot Hange a small smile, grabbing his outstretched hand. 

"I only did as I was told." 

"Would you be willing to do the same thing again?", Hange asked in a deep, sort of scary sounding voice, tightening his grip on my hand. "You would be perfect for the job." I frowned, wringing my hand from Hange's hold. I had completely forgotten how manipulative Hange could be sometimes. 

"I don't think that's a good idea.", I spoke, my tone stern and serious. I simply wanted to leave that part of my life behind and forget about it as best as I could but that was easier said then done when people in my group of friends kept mentioning it over and over again and tried to bribe me into becoming a bouncer like in the old days. I was never going to become an employee at club Rose ever again and that decision was final but most people simply wouldn't or couldn't understand that. I was sick of this spiel. 

"Why not, Eren? What's holding you back? I know you loved that job." Someting inside me snapped at that statement. 

"Can you please just quit it?", I spat at Hange, beginning to raise my voice. "I went to fucking jail because of my recklessness. And you ask me what's holding me back?" Hange was visibly taken aback, his eyes wide, his mouth open as numerous incoherent sounds left him. After all these years of knowing each other, some people still got surprised or upset whenever I would get angry. I turned on my heel and stormed towards the men's bathroom, being able to hear Levi mutter something along the lines of 'You're a fucking asshole sometimes' to Hange as I walked away. Once I had reached the bathroom, I went straight for the sink, turning the faucet on and simply letting the water run down the drain. The sound it would make always seemed to calm me down in these types of situations. That was when I heard footsteps coming from outside, the door to the bathroom being thrown open only seconds later. I looked over my shoulder, seeing Levi stand there with soft eyes and a slight, hesitant smile decorating his features.

"I'm really sorry about that. Hange can be a fucking asshole sometimes." I let out a quiet chuckle. It sounded cold, distant. 

"I'm really sorry for snapping back there. I... can't control it sometimes. Especially when it comes to this topic." And I appreciated what Levi said next more than he could have ever imagined, even though it wasn't much. 

"It's okay.", he spoke barely above a whisper, just loudly enough that I could hear. I appreciated that Levi was trying to comfort me, even though it seemed he was a little overwhelmed with the situation, even though he probably didn't know how to act towards someone with anger issues. I appreciated that he wasn't asking any further questions about why I had gone to jail and what it had to do with my job as a bouncer. I simply appreciated the fact that he was there. We barely knew each other but he was still there. 

"I have to say though, I did love that job. But I think I mostly loved it because this was the only place I could go to. These people became my family and that's why I tolerated working as a bouncer." I could feel thin arms wrap around my torso from behind, Levi's hands resting on my still partly exposed chest, causing a shiver to rack through me. His skin felt so good on mine. 

"I know what you mean." I was able to feel the vibrations against my back as he spoke. I couldn't help but think if he had only said that to make me feel better or if he was genuinely being vulnerable with me. 

"What are you doing?", I asked in a shaky voice, being able to feel tears begin to form in my eyes, my vision going blurry. In a way it was a rhetorical question, because of course I knew what was happening but in that moment, letting someone completely tear my walls down felt scary to me. 

"I want to know more about you. This is my way of doing it." Someone I couldn't help but ask myself why, couldn't help but ask myself what people thought was interesting enough about me for them to want to get to know me better. I was cold, always pushing everyone away, not very experienced when it came to showing other people that I cared. But maybe that was what intrigued Levi. The fact that he would have to put up a fight to own me, that he had to dig through my layers one by one and discover all parts of me, even the ones that I kept hidden away deep inside. A single tear streamed down my hot cheek, which dripped onto the rim of the sink as I tried my best to choke down a sob. 

"It's okay now, I want you to let it all out. You're safe with me." Somehow I couldn't help but obey, my body almost reacting to his command completely on its own, my tears flowing freely, my sobs ripping through me without any control. But somehow I wasn't sad. I loved the way my chest didn't feel heavy anymore from having to carry around the weight of burden and regret with me all those years as I cried without shame, Levi's arms wrapped around me giving me a sense of security. I caught myself wishing to feel that way more often. 

I caught myself beginning to like someone in a way that wasn't just entirely sexual. I was both scared and amazed at how easy it was for Levi to simply barge down my walls. It felt as if he was made for it. As if it was supposed to be him all along. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More romantically coded Levi x Eren! I am really excited for their relationship to get more progression over time! I originally wasn't going to end on this note, but oh well. As always, I hope you enjoyed and tune in for the next chapter! (I also hope the romance isn't too cheesy and fast-paced)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A more or less casual game of 'Never Have I Ever'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's quite a lot of drama in this chapter which is later resolved though, so don't worry! This chapter will clear up what Eren did that caused him to go to jail. There's also a little bit of romantically coded Eren x Levi in this, but not as much as last chapter. This one is just focusing a little on the relationships in this fic and the entire squad and that they're all really good friends and really care about each other. (Honestly, squad goals) 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is a little longer than the last one and even though my chapters aren't really long most of the time, I do upload a lot and I do hope that the fic meets your expectations that way! I am trying to make my chapters longer, but it doesn't always work the way I want it to. 
> 
> The next chapter will probably be uploaded a little later next week because I have a lot of plotting to do and a lot of shit to be thought about, so yeah. It might take me a while to post. But for now, I'm trying to stay positive and hope that I will be able to post within the next couple of days! 
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

"Y'all know what I always say.", Hange spoke, taking on a hilariously fake and awful sounding Texan accent, as he stood at the bar, pouring numerous shots of tequila for the whole group. I scrunched up my face in disgust as I thought about the fact that Hange was going to force me to drink tequila, literally one of the most unenjoyable beverages on the whole wide earth. "When in doubt, drink." I let out a chuckle. 

"Are all your sayings about alcohol or binge-drinking?" Hange thought about it for a moment, tapping a finger on his lip before shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah. I learned in college that the only thing I can do right is drinking.", Hange confessed, walking around the bar and towards the sitting area we had settled down on with a trey in hand of about ten tequila shots, everyone grabbing a shot reluctantly, including me. "Cheers.", Hange announced as he raised the shot glass to his lips and downed it in one gulp, everyone following suit. I let out an annoyed groan and did the same, the liquid inflicting a burn as it flowed down my throat. I shook my head vigorously as I pulled numerous weird facial expressions once again, the tequila leaving a bitter taste on my tongue. I knew why I had stopped binge drinking very cheap tequila with all my old college friends back in the day. Even though it got the job of getting you extremely drunk fairly quickly done pretty easily, that shit was still nasty as hell. 

"Why do we always have to drink tequila on motto night? Can't we at least get a little bit more of an expensive tequila?", Ymir, who had one arm slung around Historia's shoulders, asked, the blonde's head resting comfortable on her chest, her eyes closed as she breathed calmy and rythmically, seemingly having fallen asleep on Ymir. Historia wasn't an employee at club Rose and wasn't used to working shift like her girlfriend and it was the middle of the night after all, so it was understandable that she needed to get some rest. 

"Because it's tradition.", Hange spoke as he plopped down right next to Ymir on the black leather couch. "And in this house we honor our traditions." 

"Finally, I fucking found you.", I heard Erwin's voice coming from behind me, causing me to turn around, seeing the blonde stand in the door frame with a tired, exhausted expression on his face, which was understandable. Erwin had to run the entire business and do lots of paperwork and even though his personal assistant and boyfriend Mike helped him out with that most of the time, it was still a lot of work, resulting in Erwin having to run extra hours and constantly being tired out. "What are you guys up to?" Erwin walked up to his boyfriend sitting on the couch, giving him a quick peck on the lips. 

"Since we finally have our old squad member back and a new addition to the family," Hange pointed in the general direction of me and Levi as he spoke. "I thought it would be a good idea to play a drinking game." A bright smile creeped onto Erwin's lips at that statement. 

"Well, have fun. Mike's tired, I'm driving the both of us home now. Our nanny probably fell asleep on the couch as well.", Erwin spoke as he gave his boyfriend another quick kiss on the lips, cupping Hange's cheek gently while doing so, the touch slightly lingering as he pulled away. "And don't make me pick you up again at five in the morning because you were too drunk and paranoid to call a taxi." Erwin raised a reprimanding finger at his boyfriend. 

"You have to admit though, the sex we had in our car later was great.", Hange spoke, his voice taking on a sultry tone as he took the tip of Erwin's finger into is mouth. Erwin let out a breathy chuckle, pulling his hand away, causing Hange to let out a disappointed whine. 

"We're never doing that again. You got cum on my leather seats and I will never forgive you for that. I also felt extremely guilty for leaving Mike out of the occasion.", Erwin confessed, making his way towards the door again. 

"He knows he can always get some if he wants."

"Well, I'll be going. I might check in again later today, I still have shit to do. You all have a good rest of your night.", Erwin spoke as he leaned against the door frame, shooting the entire group a small smile, which we all returned. 

"Get home safe.", Hange spoke, blowing his boyfriend a kiss, which Erwin caught, the smile resting on his face only growing. And like that he was gone again. That was when Armin came into the room, holding numerous bottles of hard liquor that he had brought with him from the bar and setting them down on the glass table. He filled up everyone's empty shot glasses once again, handing one to each person. 

"Let's start then.", he spoke, sitting down next to his boyfriend on the couch. 

"I'll gladly start.", Ymir smirked, raising her arm into the air. "Never have I ever been with a man." The entire group groaned, everyone taking their shot except for one person and that was Marco. The boy's grip on his glass tightenend, his knuckles turning white and his freckled cheeks blushing a rosy color. He sighed defeatedly, taking the shot as well, scrunching his face up in disgust afterwards.

"Wow.", Ymir deadpanned, the facial expression she was wearing making it seem as if her entire view of the world had completely changed. "Not even Marco's straight?" Hange barked out a laugh. 

"What the fuck do you mean by that?", he asked Ymir jokingly, already beginning to fill up everyone's glasses again. "The guy basically screams homo." Marco blushed an even deeper shade of red. I kind of felt sorry for him. Hange could be very invasive and didn't really value the privacy and comfort zones of other people. Hange himself had no shame and probably couldn't have cared less about those types of things and didn't really consider the fact that most people were extremely sensitive when it came to their sex and love life. 

"Well, moving on.", Hange spoke, thinking about what he was going to say next for a couple of seconds. "Never have I ever fallen in love on first sight." At first it looked like no one was going to drink their shot, Hange letting out a disappointed groan at that and already lifting the glass to this lips. I heard Levi let out a growl deep in his throat, feeling him raise his arm and down the shot in one gulp, my breath slightly hitching in my throat. I couldn't help but wonder who that person might have been, a flash of possessiveness racking through me. I turned my head, examining the bruise near Levi's pulse point that I had left there and which had taken on even darker shades of pink and purple over the couple of hours that had passed, a smirk creeping onto my lips. I was definitely going to finish what we had started that day, just the thought of finally having Levi at my mercy causing me to swallow thickly. Hange quickly filled up Levi's shot glass again with a giant grin on his face. Somehow he looked as if he knew something, which was logical, since Levi and Hange were best friends. Hange was also probably just relieved that he didn't have to drink that shot. 

"I'm next.", spoke Marco in a quiet voice as he stuttered slightly, thinking about which question he was going to pick. "Never have I ever been to jail." My eyes widened at that statement, my throat going extremely dry, making me swallow a couple of times. The entire group was staring at me, both empathetic and awaiting eyes mustering me. Everyone of course knew that I would have to drink that shot. I gave everyone a glare before downing it, the liquid inflicting a burn as it flowed down my throat. Ymir spoke up once again and I had never expected those words to come out of her mouth, considering how irritated I got whenever anyone mentioned the topic.

"What did you go to jail for anyway?" I contemplated wether or not I should really tell them. These people were my family, I cared deeply for them as they did for me and they would probably never judge or disown me no matter what I might have done, but the crime I had committed was a handful and most people didn't know how to look me in the eyes anymore after they find out. Besides, after what had happened that day with Levi in the bathroom I really didn't want to fuck it up and make him stay away from me. But I could see him stare at me with soft eyes and a hesitant smile on his face out of the corner of my eye and somehow I didn't feel as scared anymore as I had before. Somehow that expression he was wearing on his face gave me the courage to come out and say it. 

"Involuntary manslaughter." The entire group was silent, everyone either staring at me or at the floor, their expressions a mixture between shocked and guilty. I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, taking deep breaths to try and keep the tears building at bay. I didn't really know what I had been expecting, but I should have definitely anticipated this type of reaction. 

"I'm sorry, I have to go.", I spoke, getting up from the couch, planning to go to the men's bathroom, when I felt a small hand grab my wrist harshly. I didn't really notice before, but Levi's hands were unusually soft considering the fact that he worked the pole every day. His eyes were stern as they met mine. 

"Sit.", he demanded, slightly pulling me towards him. I felt the urgent need to obey once again, my body almost acting on its own, sitting back down on the couch like Levi had told me to. 

"I know what you must think, Eren.", Armin spoke, shooting me a hesitant smile that immediately made me feel a little better about the situation. "But we don't hate you. It's quite the opposite. Yes, what happened was extremely horrible and we were all shocked and couldn't believe that you were even capable of doing something like that. But you're family. And finally having you back again is a fucking blessing." I returned Armin's smile, tearing up because of a completely different reason this time. These people were my family. They took me in after my father had decided to kick me out and disown me, they had cared for me when no one else would. I've known these people for years and at that point it was absolutely impossible for me to ever let them go. I was relieved they felt the same way. 

"You motherfucker.", I laughed, somehow trying to hide the fact that my tears were extremely close to spilling. The others tuned in as well, laughing along. "Making me cry. You son of a bitch." I laughed once again, a single tear streaming down my cheek, causing me to rub furiously at my eyes, not wanting to be seen crying. It was extremely rare for me to actually cry, let alone in front of other people. I let out another chuckle when I realized that this was already my second time that day. But for whatever reason, that didn't make me feel pathetic nor weak. I felt free, as if hundreds of pounds of weight had been lifted from my shoulders. This had been subconsciously bothering me ever since I left jail and I was so relieved it was finally out to everyone. I could feel a hand gently stroke my back, causing me to turn my head, looking straight into Levi's empathetic eyes, a bright smile decorating his features. The way he was looking at me, as if I was precious, as if I was something special, as if my confession didn't change a single thing, made my heart clench. 

Even though I didn't in that moment, I quickly realized later on why Levi had taken that shot. And I quickly realized that I should have taken mine as well.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren's big secret is finally out! Eren went to jail for involuntary manslaughter and was gone for over a year. The only people that really knew were Armin, Hange and Erwin, since those were the three people Eren was closest to back in the day. Ymir, Jean, Marco and Levi were all new employees and started working there after Eren got imprisoned. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you tune in for the next one!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just porn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, how this chapter came to be I have absolutely no idea. I just felt like this was a good place for some smut, I don't know why, but it happened. This chapter is a little longer and took me a while as a result and I hope you enjoy! (There's also some slight romantically coded Eren x Levi in this, not just smut, so yeah)

"Eren." Armin's voice rang like a bell in my ears as he spoke, interrupting my train of thought rudely, causing me to let out a disappointed groan. That was the moment I really began to realize that I had had way too much to drink those past couple of hours, my reactions and senses sloppy. "Truth or dare?" I groaned once again, feeling way too tired and exhausted to want to keep playing this stupid game. I was cursing Hange and his amazing ability to be able to manipulate people into doing what he wants for making us play this stupid game. If he hadn't shot me a deadly glare whenever I made too rapid movements I would have probably bailed out at that point already, but I knew better than to mess with Hange. 

"Truth.", I slurred, my tongue feeling extremely heavy in my mouth. I could hear Armin let out a chuckle. 

"Truth, really? I thought you had more balls than that." 

"Just ask the fucking question, idiot." At that point I was once again reminded that I would turn into an absolute dick whenever I got drunk. Under the influence of alcohol my patience got even thinner than it already was in my state of being sober. 

"How would you rate the blowjob that you gave Levi today in his dressing room on a scale of one to ten?" My eyes shot open at that question, my throat going dry, all of my blood rushing south just thinking about what had happened in Levi's dressing room that evening. I let out a low growl in my throat, anger bubbling up in my stomach. I had completely forgotten that while playing truth or dare with a completely wasted Armin Arlert, you should never pick Truth because he would turn into the most unbearable little shit and come up with the most embarrassing and uncomfortable questions in the history of all Truth or Dare games ever played. I looked down at Levi, his head still resting on my shoulder like it had been for the past hour or so, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed a beautiful crimson color. Wether he was blushing because of the alcohol or the question, I couldn't really tell, but I supposed it was the latter. Or a combination of both. He quickly noticed me staring, our eyes locking, causing his cheeks to turn an even darker shade of red. 

"Well, Armin, you didn't let me finish, so I can't really tell.", I hissed out through gritted teeth, my voice stern as I looked Armin right in the eyes when I answered. The disappointment I was feeling because of how rudely we got interrupted was one hundred percent genuine and it only got amplified by the fact that I was already half hard and desperate for some action. A smug, knowing grin creeped onto Armin's lips and I already knew that that little asshole had something planned. 

"Eren, truth or dare?", Armin asked once again and I let out another annoyed sigh, supposing that at this point everyone was too drunk to really care about the actual rules of the game. Luckily, I was smart and apparently still sober enough (not really) to not make the same mistake twice. 

"Dare." The smirk on Armin's face only grew as I answered. 

"I dare you to finish what the both of you started." That dare grabbed my interest, even more blood rushing to my member, causing me to grow fully hard now, my erection pressing against my jeans uncomfortably. Even though the guy could be a motherfucking pain in my ass, in that moment I was silently thanking every God that I knew of for the existence of a certain blondie called Armin Arlert. My throat had become extremely dry once again, causing me to caugh slightly and swallow thickly numerous times before I was able to give a coherent answer. I could feel Levi shift in his seat uneasily, his head no longer resting on my shoulder as he gaped at Armin with his eyes and mouth wide open. 

"Well, a dare is a dare. I'll do it.", I spoke, completely sober now, trying to keep my voice from wavering and conceal the fact that I was getting more excited about this than I probably should have. "As long as Levi consents, of course." Numerous unintelligible sounds left the raven, before he cleared his throat and gave a small nod, his gaze aimed at the ground as he blushed deeply once more. I stood up from the couch, someone harshly grabbing my wrist. I turned around, looking into Armin's ice blue eyes. 

"You fucking owe me.", he whispered into my ear, his tone deep and unusually gravelly, as he slid a small bottle of lube into the back pocket of my jeans. "Now go get him, tiger." I internally cringed as Armin said that, reaching my hand out for Levi. He took it, letting himself be willingly pulled towards his dressing room. I threw open the door, immediately locking it once the both of us were inside. I let out a deep sigh, leaning against the door slightly for support. Even though I had wanted this for longer than I could endure at the time, I seemed to hesitate. For once in my life, I was actually thinking with my brain instead of my cock in a situation like this. I didn't really know if I should have been relieved or concerned. This simply wasn't like me at all. I never really cared about any of the people I had sex with and did so without hesitation or any strings attached and I simply couldn't understand why it was something different with Levi. Maybe because Levi wasn't like anyone I had ever met before. 

"What are you waiting for?", he asked, his voice ragged and shaky, making him sound incredibly desperate. I let out a deep, long sigh. For once, I simply couldn't obey what he obviously wanted me to do. I simply had to make sure that this was something Levi one hundred percent wanted, for some odd reason. 

"Are you sure you want this?" Levi gaped at me like I had completely lost my mind, his mouth and eyes wide open. 

"Of course. Why are you asking me this?", he asked after he had regained his composure again, looking and sounding as confused as I was in that moment. "You were ready to rip my clothes off and fuck me mercilessly over the bar counter a couple of hours ago. What's making you hesitate now?" I didn't even know why myself at that point. Even though I had known Levi for barely a day at that point, I already felt this weird connection to him. Even though I really knew nothing about him, I quickly noticed that Levi was misunderstood and broken, but there was so much good in him. I thought someone like me, someone whose hands have done more evil than some could even imagine, was going to ruin him. I thought I was going to corrupt the good in Levi just by touching him. And even though I wanted to voice those concerns out loud, no words were leaving my mouth. I walked up to Levi, raising my hand and cupping his cheek, lightly grazing his lower lip with my thumb. The raven leaned into the touch as he closed his eyes. 

"There is so much blood on my hands.", I spoke barely above a whisper, my other hand coming to rest on his hip. "I don't want to ruin you. You deserve someone better." Levi let out a quiet chuckle.

"We've all done things we regret, Eren. Besides, there have been worse people that I did this with." Levi's hands roaming over my exposed chest as he spoke sent shivers down my spine. It felt almost too good to get touched by him. His touch was like a drug, slowly but surely pulling me in, making me feel light-headed and intoxicated. Levi was beginning to lean in. 

"Now kiss me. Please.", he whispered and once again, I wasn't able to refuse Levi as he pleaded for me, crashing my lips onto his in a messy kiss which was all tongue and teeth. I ripped a moan from those beautiful lips as my hand reached upwards to pinch a nipple, the bud immediately hardening at the touch. Levi was beginning to push me backwards towards the couch standing next to the door, all air leaving me as the back of my knees collided with the edge of the sofa, making me land quite ungracefully on the soft cushions. Levi crawled into my lap, straddling me as our lips connected once again, his tongue darting into my mouth harshly, but he quickly lost that fight as I regained dominance of the kiss. I bit his lower lip forcefully, almost hard enough to draw blood, which caused Levi to let out a strangled groan, as I pulled away, latching onto his pulse point almost immediately, darkening the faint bruise that had already formed there from earlier that night. I moved upwards slightly once I was done with that area, beginning to suck and bite at the patch beneath his ear, all the while fondling his nipples, twisting them between my fingers, Levi letting out numerous keens and whines at the stimulation which obviously wasn't enough for him at the moment. I knew he wanted more, but I wasn't going to give it to him just yet. 

"Eren, please.", he moaned breathlessly, arching his back up towards my hand touching his nipples. I stopped sucking on his skin, trying my best to conceal the grin that was creeping onto my lips. 

"Please what, Levi?", I asked, my voice making it sound as if I was clueless and had no idea of what Levi actually wanted me to do. "You have to clearly tell me what you want." 

"More." 

"You'll have to be more specific than that, Levi." Levi leaned in close, panting into my ear and swallowing loudly. 

"I want to ride you.", he whispered, letting out an embarrasingly loud whiny moan, which caused a shiver to rack through me, my entire skin beginning to tingle. It was good to know that Levi had some aces up his sleeve as well when it came to the topic sex. That would surely be able to spice things up in the bedroom, in case it ever came to that in the future again. I sure hoped so. I grabbed the bottle of lube and the condom from the back pocket of my jeans. 

"That can surely be arranged.", I growled back, trying to make my voice sound deep and raspy. "Do you want to prepare yourself or should I?" 

"You do it.", he pleaded, his voice coming out desperate and needy, bracing his hands on my shoulders and nuzzling his face into my neck. "But don't take the panties off." I let out a quiet chuckle as I uncapped the small bottle of lube with my thumb, lubing up three of my digits. 

"How could I?", I asked rethorically, sliding my fingers into Levi's underwear, the raven's breath hitching in his throat as I used one finger to circle his hole. Once the ring of muscle had loosened, I pushed the finger in to the knuckle, Levi's walls clenching so tightly around my fingers, which made my dick throb and grow so hard that the entire situation was beginning to become extremely uncomfortable on my part. And even though I longed for my cock to be released from its restraints and some heavenly friction, I had to focus on the more important task at hand which was getting Levi nice and ready for me. Even though the guy was probably into some pretty kinky shit and enjoyed it rough, I still didn't want to take risks and possibly hurt him in any way. I quickly added another finger, curling the two digits upwards and finding Levi's prostate, the raven letting out a string of needy moans into my ear at the stimulation, causing a smirk to creep onto my lips. I needed to get him riled up well, because I already knew at that point that I wasn't going to last much longer than a couple of minutes. 

"Eren!", Levi moaned out as I hit that same spot again, sounding completely breathless already, beginning to rut his hips downwards to meet the thrusts of my fingers. I started scissoring, thinking that I had played around enough and should start actually preparing Levi, adding a third finger once I had deemed Levi ready for it after a couple of minutes. I could feel Levi's hands wander down my chest towards the hem of my jeans, undoing the button and zipper, slipping his hand into my underwear and taking my cock out, giving it a few harsh pumps, making me sigh. 

"Eager, aren't we?", I spoke, my voice wavering slightly as I kept scissoring my fingers. Levi let out a whine at that statement, nodding his head vigorously. 

"Put it in, please.", Levi pleaded, sounding as if he was on the verge of tears, his nails digging into the flesh of my hips harshly. I took the condom, already beginning to rip open the package as Levi's hand left my shoulder to grab at my wrist harshly.

"You're clean, right?" I nodded, having been checked only a couple of weeks back after returning from prison. "The forget about the fucking condom. I want to feel you come inside me." He grabbed the bottle of lube, pouring a generous amount into his palm before slicking up my cock. I pushed Levi's underwear aside slightly, taking my member in hand, guiding it towards Levi's entrance, the shorter male sinking down on it in one swift fall of his hips. I groaned as I bottomed out, the heat engulfing me feeling absolutely heavenly, the way Levi's walls were clenching around my dick, as if they were trying to suck it in even deeper, already causing me to grow dangerously close to the edge. I braced my feet on the floor, slowly beginning to thrust, Levi meeting me each time with a fall of his hips. I soon began to feel impatient, the slow pace turning out to not be enough. But I wasn't going to do anything unless Levi told me that he wanted me to. I didn't want to risk hurting him after all. 

"God, Eren, harder.", Levi hissed through gritted teeth, letting out a long, drawn out moan as I seemingly brushed his prostate. I obeyed his plea, grabbing his hips and speeding up the rythm, beginning to thrust into the tight heat relentlessly. Our breaths and pants were loud and heavy in the room, just like Levi's pleasured voice as I kept pounding into him, finding that sweet spot deep inside over and over again. Levi was yanking at strands of hair at the back of my head, tearing a groan from my lips. I gave one of his ass cheeks a rough slap as a punishment, leaving a visible handprint as the soft skin immediately turned a fiery red. Levi's moans only became louder at the contact, his grip on my hair tightening. A smirk creeped onto my lips, until a wave of pleasure became too intense and I couldn't surpress a groan making it's way up my throat.

I could feel Levi get close, his walls clenching even tighter than before, the pressure around my cock becoming almost too much. I saw Levi's hand wander downwards to stroke his neglected dick, grabbing it in time and pinning it behind his back. The shorter male let out a disappointed whine, followed by an extremely loud, so loud that the others in the lounge were probably able to hear the both of us fucking in that moment, moan as I hit his prostate with a rather forceful thrust. Even though Levi probably desired friction on his cock as well, I wasn't going to give it to him. I wanted him to come from just my dick. 

"I-I'm getting c-close, _fuck_ , Eren!" Levi almost screamed my name as I kept pounding into him, Levi rutting down on my dick, meeting me halfway. He was still so insanely tight, squeezing so beautifully around me as I assaulted his prostate with each snap of my hips that I could feel my climax approaching fast. 

"Yes, come for me, Levi.", I demanded, my nails digging into the flesh of Levi's hips as I somehow tried to ground myself, the pleasure so intense I was feeling intoxicated, light-headed. "Come, so the only thing you'll be able to remember is my name." It only took two more thrusts and Levi was done, spilling white over both of our chests as he came hard and untouched, a shout of my name leaving his lips as he did so. Levi's walls clenched even tighter around me than they already were as he hit his climax, pushing me over the edge as well, causing me to release my semen deep inside the raven with a silent shout. That was probably the hardest I had ever come in my life. I wrapped my arms around Levi as he slumped against my chest, feeling sweaty and gross. My hand came to rest on his head, combing through black, tousled strands of hair. I could hear Levi quietly sniffle, causing me to get extremely concerned and wonder if I had been too rough with him. 

"Did I hurt you?", I asked, cupping his face in my hands, running my thumbs over his cheeks to wipe away the tears and staring into silver orbs, which for once didn't hold a stern expression like they oftentimes did. He shot me a small, reassuring smile. I caught myself wishing to see himself that way more often. I caught myself thinking that smiling really suited him. 

"No. It almost felt too good." I smiled back, my hands coming to rest on Levi's hips. I scrunched my face up in disgust slightly as I saw that cum was already beginning to trickle down Levi's thighs. Although he didn't seem to really mind, I thought it would be best to get Levi cleaned up since having a load of dried cum in your ass is absolutely disgusting and nasty the next morning.

"Do you think you're able to stand?", I asked and Levi nodded. "Then let's go take a shower." Levi gave me another smile, lifting himself off my softening dick with a sigh, as he walked towards the bathroom attached to his dressing room and wincing in pain as he did so. The smile on his face only widened, leaning against the door frame as he spoke. 

"I feel the ache already."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically 3122 words of pure angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my fucking God, it took me forever to get this chapter out. I simply had no motivation whatsoever because plotting is a bitch and I couldn't think of anything good for this chapter and the next ones, but I'm 100% back on track again! Also, season 3 of aot aires tomorrow and I'm S H O O K??!? (Granted, I did see the first episode already and even though it was too far paced for my taste, it was still really good. My man Levi looks like a fucking snacc, hot damn) (Btw, I've been trying to increase the chapter length a little bit, both this and the last chapter are about 3100 words and I hope you guys like that length! [I'll probably return to shorter chapters anyway sooner or later lmao])

"Good morning.", I mumbled as I took a seat at the bar, massaging my neck slightly to ease the pain a little. Sleeping on a couch really wasn't ideal, but I didn't really think about that before going to sleep, considering how intoxicated from both the alcohol and the sex I felt that was only natural, but reckless nonetheless. On top of that I also had the worst hangover I had ever experienced in my entire life. I promised myself that I would never again drink tequila, that shit is absolutely nasty and causes the craziest headaches. "I need coffee. Quick." Armin muttered a quick 'on it' as he grabbed a mug from one of the cupboards, already rushing towards the coffee machine and preparing my cup. That was the moment Hange barged into the room, forcefully pushing open the front doors, a huge smile decorating his features and McDonald's take out in hand. 

" _Ohayōgozaimasu_!", Hange announced in a happy, up-beat manner, the Japanese words always rolling off his tongue much easier than the English ones, setting the bag of McD's down on the counter. Hange's parents were Japanese and had migrated from Japan to the US when Hange was about ten years old, forcing the young boy to have to leave behind his friends, his culture, his entire home. Even though Hange had built a career, a family and a happy life, he had never truly felt at home in the States, but was unable to return to Japan, considering how much he would leave behind. The only thing he really had left was his native language and he tried to speak it as much as possible and some of the employees had decided to learn and find out more about the Japanese language and the country itself out of solidarity. And even though I genuinely felt bad for Hange and couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have felt like for him to go through all those major changes, all I could really care about in that moment was the fact that Hange was way too loud as always and really not helping the throbbing headache bugging me. I let out a strangled groan. 

"Good morning to you too, _Hange-san_.", Armin spoke, letting out a quiet chuckle at the end, setting the cup of coffee he had made down on the counter in front of me, shooting me a knowing smile. I simply shot him a glare, grabbing the mug and beginning to blow on the cruelly hot liquid to get it to cool down. I let my gaze wonder towards Hange, his face still contorted into that stupidly joyful smile. I couldn't help but feel a little salty about the fact that Hange was in a good mood while I was feeling like absolute dog shit. I couldn't even understand how Hange was so happy in that moment, considering how much to drink we had all had the evening before. 

"I don't even know how you're standing right now.", I stated, my voice sounding raspy and breathy, taking a sip from my coffee and hissing quietly as it slightly burned the top of my mouth. "You drank like a fucking fish yesterday." Hange barked out a laugh at that. 

"Well, I managed to sweat out all the alcohol, if you know what I mean.", Hange suggested in a sultry tone, wiggling his eyebrows at the statement and taking a seat next to me at the bar and ordering coffee as well, Armin fetching another mug and preparing a cup for Hange as well. "But we all noticed that you had some fun as well yesterday. How was it? I hope marvellous. Levi deserved a thorough fucking after everything the guy's had to deal with recently." Armin sat down the mug in front of Hange, the brunette shooting him a quick, thankful smile. Armin leaned on the counter with his forearms, suddenly interested in the conversation as well. That was Armin Arlert in a nutshell, always ready for the latest tea to get spilled. I swallowed thickly, trying not to think about how Levi was riding my cock with such vigor, how nicely he was clenching around me as I pounded into him, sheathing myself in the tight heat over and over again, trying my absolute best to bury those thoughts at the back of the mind. I really didn't want to get a boner in front of all my friends. 

"I don't think anyone's managed to fuck me before the way Eren did.", Levi spoke up, leaning against the door frame only with an oversized shirt that reached to about half way down his thighs on and a cocky smile decorating his face. I chocked on my fucking spit, almost breaking out into a coughing fit, both because of that statement and what Levi was wearing. I felt the need to rip the garment off him again immediately and give him a good fucking like I did yesterday and it took all of my remaining self-restraint to not do so. "You simply can't stay out of my business, now can you, Hange?" Hange let out another chuckle and I couldn't really tell wether he was laughing because of my reaction or what Levi had said. 

"I hate to ruin your good mood, but," Hange spoke after quickly turning serious again, grabbing a white envelope from the pocket of his jacket and setting it down on the counter. "Found this in the mailbox today. It's for Levi apparently." I saw Levi furrow his brows as he walked around the bar, grabbing the letter, ripping it open messily and his jaw almost falling to the ground as he found out what was inside. He slapped one hand over his mouth, his eyes glassy, laced with tears as he blinked rapidly trying to keep them from spilling. I stood up from my seat, yanking the envelope from Levi's grasp and taking out its contents. I was holding numerous black and white pictures of Levi in hand, as well as a DVD which had the words 'play me' written in black sharpie and capitals on it. I began to slightly shake when the realization hit me, another flash of possessiveness of Levi racking through me and a piece of folded paper fluttering to the floor. I spread the contents of the letter out on the bar, bending down to pick up the paper, opening it and my eyes almost popping out of my skull when I read what it said. The slip of paper looked rough and rumpled, the edges having been ripped, the three simple words written on it sending a shiver down my spine. 'You Are Mine'. 

"What the fuck is this?", I asked, beginning to raise my voice, waving the piece of paper I was still holding around in the air vigorously. Someone was fucking stalking Levi and to me this seemed like the perfect time to freak out. For once I had an actual, legitimate reason to completely lose my composure. "How the fuck are you staying so calm about this, Hange? Do you even understand what's fucking happening here? He's being stalked!" 

"Of course I know what's happening here! I'm not fucking stupid.", Hange snapped back, downing the rest of his coffee in a couple gulps and slamming the cup back down on the counter with so much force, I thought it was going to break. That was the moment I realized that Hange's smile only a couple of minutes ago wasn't a normal happy smile. The guy was ready to kill once again. "Why are you even getting so upset about this?" A grin creeped onto Hange's lips, as if he knew that he had pushed all my buttons there, causing me to let out a deep, feral growl, bawling my fists in anger. Even though I felt the overwhelming desire to show Hange a lesson and that I wasn't to be messed with, I decided to swallow my anger and keep it for later. We had more important things to worry about in that moment. But Hange's question really got my thoughts going. Why was I even so concerned about Levi in the first place? The both of us barely knew each other, we kissed a couple of times and fucked once and suddenly I was committed to him? Even though that didn't sound like me at all, I couldn't help but like the thought.I was a horrible person but, for whatever reason, I was catching myself falling for someone that deserved better than what I could ever give. I was so selfish, I didn't even feel the need to fight those emotions, watching them reel me in, watching them slowly possess every part of me.

I couldn't help but imagine the function of the heart to be like a cage full of pigeons which represent feelings. These pigeons give you a feeling of security, a feeling of control that you're too proud to let go of. But one day someone comes along and completely barges down your walls, causing the feelings to flow free and the pigeons to get released. You have an empty cage and nothing to show for. But despite all the pain and the emptiness, you still feel a sort of relief and in that moment nothing is as beautiful as watching them flutter free, flutter towards the sunset and disappear from your vision behind a hill. Even though those pigeons were your all and the only solid thing you could hold on to in desperate times, letting them go feels like absolute bliss and in a way you yourself feel free as well. Because somehow you catch yourself wishing and hoping that they'll return to you one day. You catch yourself wishing that that one person will return those feelings and make your cage crowded again.

I spluttered, incoherent sounds leavin my mouth as I desperately tried to somehow still save this situation but miserably failing, my gaze wondering towards Levi, causing me to regain my composure. The raven had tears staining his cheeks, staring at me through hooded eyes as he sobbed, his hair hanging in his face. Even though that wasn't the right moment to, I couldn't help but catch myself thinking how beautiful he looked even when he was crying. I caught myself thinking that wanted to turn those tears into happy ones. Or ones of pleasure. I didn't really care, as long as his eyes stopped looking so fucking empty and depressed. I let out a deep sigh. 

"I think we should see what's on that DVD.", I spoke, picking the disk up from the counter. "You have a DVD player in Erwin's office, right?" Hange nodded, getting up from his seat at the bar and beginning to walk towards Erwin's office. I shot Levi a small, hesitant smile, which he obviously didn't return considering the current situation and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the office, Armin following suit. When we got there, Hange was standing in front of the door, his ear pressed to the wood as he held up a finger to his mouth to signal to us that we should be quiet. Quiet moans and grunts could be heard from the inside of the room and a big grin creeped onto Hange's lips as he twisted the knob and pushed open the door. 

"Babe! You having fun without me?", he spoke with a slight chuckle, putting his hands on his hips. I chocked on my own spit, causing me to break out into a coughing fit as I witnessed Erwin sitting in his chair, head thrown back, grabbing the armrests so tightly that his knuckles turned white, Marco sitting between his legs with Erwin's balls in his mouth. Marco immediately jumped up from his place on the floor, Erwin hurriedly pulling up his pants again as he stood up from his chair, rubbing his neck in shame of having been caught.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Mikasa's gonna be pissed if she finds cum stains in your office again. She bought you that leather chair after all.", Hange complained, pulling up a chair and sitting down. "Besides, you always exclude me. I know Marco has a very skilled mouth and that he doesn't possess a gag reflex is a blessing, but your boyfriend is desperate for some action." I quickly shook my head, trying to somehow ground myself and grasp what in the everliving fuck was even happening in that office in that moment, clearing my throat repeadetly. I could feel myself begin to get even more angry and even more upset than I had been these past couple of minutes. There were bigger problems at hand in that situation than Hange feeling jealous, trying to make everything about himself like the little drama queen that he was. I squeezed Levi's hand even tighter than I already was. 

"Are you fucking kidding me, Hange?", I asked as I slightly raised my voice, trying my absolute best to stay as relaxed as possible and not snap at him, being able to feel my composure crumble with every passing second. "Don't you think there are more important things right now?" I didn't even bother to wait for Hange's answer, dragging Levi across the office, letting go of his hand to turn on both the TV and the DVD player, sliding the disk into the slot. Shortly after, a video which looked as if it had been recorded by surveillance cameras appeared on screen, showing me and Levi standing in his dressing room. 

_"There is so much blood on my hands. I don't want to ruin you. You deserve someone better."_ My voice was so quiet it could barely be heard, Levi chuckling in the video. 

_"We've all done things we regret, Eren. Besides, there have been worse people I did this with."_ Levi could be seen running his hands over my exposed chest, causing me to slightly visibly shiver, the raven beginning to lean closer. My eyes went wide as my breath hitched in my throat. This was the video of me and Levi having sex the night before. 

_"Now kiss me. Please."_ I quickly grabbed the power cord of both devices, pulling them out of the socket, the TV screen going black and the sounds vanishing. I was panting harshly, my head spinning, my thoughts overwhelming me, so many unanswered questions whirring through my mind that I was feeling to begin dizzy. I seriously felt the need to vomit, saliva gathering in my mouth and causing me to swallow thickly. I was feeling absolutely disgusted by whoever had composed that letter and sent it. I couldn't help but feel enraged and promise myself that I would find the crazy fucker who was behind this. And then it clicked. Everything sort of fell into place as I noticed that there was only one person that made sense for them to be Levi's stalker.

"It's Farlan.", I spoke barely above a whisper, more muttering to myself than the others. I could see Levi tense up out of my peripheral vision.

"What?", Armin, who had been unusually quiet throughout this entire dilemma, asked. I turned around, my eyes immediately landing on Levi as I shot him an empathetic glance. I couldn't even begin to understand how horrible it must have felt for him to find out that his ex-boyfriend, someone that he used to love and trust and cherish at some point of their relationship, was stalking him and doing such horrible things. I cleared my throat, wanting to get the message across as sensitively as possible for Levi's sake. 

"It's Farlan.", I spoke with a sigh at the end as I left the room, turning a corner and crossing the corridor towards the janitress Mikasa's office where the back door of club Rose was, everyone else following suit. "He must have gotten in through the backdoor while we were playing and drinking." 

"How can you be so sure?", Armin called after me. Once I had reached Mikasa's office, I threw open the door without caring to knock since Mikasa wasn't working at this time of the day anyway, walking up towards the metal door, seeing that the old, rusty lock had been destroyed.

"See? Lock's busted." I let out a deep sigh, which turned into more of a feral growl, my gaze wondering towards Levi, who was still crying heavily and sobbing violently. Witnessing Levi's reaction in that moment, I quickly realized that Levi was deathly afraid of that man. And I didn't even have to ask to know the reason why. I was beginning to feel the rage consume me, taking over every rational part of my brain as I balled my fists. I was the reason this was happening to Levi. Farlan had felt jealous the moment he met me and I should have seen it. I should have seen that this guy was trying to possess Levi in every way that he could. I should have seen that this guy was Levi's abuser, that he was absolute nuts and had hurt Levi more than I could have ever imagined.

I wanted to shield Levi from it all, I wanted to repair him as best as I could, but I felt unworthy of doing so. I felt like I was going to break him even further with my bloodied, violent hands. Despite that, I could feel myself get pulled in by Levi's remarkable aura, this aura that was so good and encouraging, but also full of despair and regret and I couldn't help but think that despite his many flaws, he was still a person I wanted to be around. A person I felt intrigued by. A person I wanted to know more about. A person I deemed worthy of my love and affection. I just didn't think I deserved to get those things from him. I didn't think I deserved to have him. It was partly my fault that Levi was stuck in this absolutely horrible situation. So I did the only thing that came to my mind that would help me out of this situation.

I ran without a word. Even though that was selfish of me to do, even though I wanted to protect Levi no matter the cost, my legs wouldn't listen to me, they weren't doing as they were told. Probably because I truly didn't want to stay. Probably because I thought that Levi wanted me to leave. Probably because I thought Levi hated me, because he knew that this was my fault just as much as I did. I thought I was doing the right thing. I truly thought I did.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed.  
> (For anyone who doesn't speak Japanese and doesn't know what 'Ohayōgozaimasu' means, it's basically just good morning in Japanese. But I didn't want to write it in the characters because most people, even if they speak a little Japanese, still can't read it, so I wrote it in phonetic language. I will also write everything Japanese in italics from this point on. [And yes Hanji is Japanese in this fic, even though her heritage hasn't been confirmed.])


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving a shocking call from Armin, Eren comes to the realization that the decision he had made was one hundred percent wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm absolute trash. This took me way longer than I actually wanted it to, but I'm quite proud with how it turned out! I actually kind of like how Eren and Levi's relationship is unfolding so far but I'll definitely have some more plotting to do after this chapter. I have some amazing ideas and there's still a lot of exciting and dramatic stuff that I want to put in, but it all kind of has to come together and stuff. Anyway, I'm super hyped about that and hope you are too! I also hope that you enjoy this chapter! (As I already mentioned in another chapter, I have been trying to increase the chapter length and I am succeeding so far! The past two and this chapter are all over 3000 words long and I hope you guys like that length just as much as I do!) (IMPORTANT NOTE: I edited this chapter once more to make it fit a little more with the further progression of the story. I simply edited the last sentence. For anyone who hasn't read the piece yet, this note will not be of importance, so simply ignore.)

I couldn't help but think about my time before prison. I couldn't help but think about my days as a teen. How much I struggled with my father, how much I struggled trying to accept this side of me that he hated so much. My own father despised me. My very own father, a person I had always looked up to, a person I had always aspired to be like. I wanted to follow his example, wanted to follow his rules in life, wanted to become a better person because of him. My own father hated my guts because of something that I couldn't control nor change about myself. It was a part of my very being and my father simply couldn't accept it, resorting to both emotional and physical violence more than once, convinced that would somehow be able to make me normal again. My mother was aware of what was happening to me and even though she couldn't really do anything to stop it, since she depended on my father, she had always assured me that I would turn out completely different than him. That I would achieve great things and try to make the world a better place. I had always rolled my eyes, thinking that those types of talks were super awkward and cheesy and it stayed like that. 

My mother was the only person that believed that I could be different. That after all the things that had happened to me, I could still turn out as a normal man and wouldn't end up being as violent and aggressive as my begetter. And I believed her. My mother was an honest person and she had such a pure heart. I had always trusted her judgement, I always trusted her words. My mother had always looked out for me, had always protected me even though she was suffering herself. She was the most selfless woman I had ever met in my life. And when she passed away, every last bit of sanity that I still had left vanished. My mother was my protector, my light, a beacon of hope in such a cruel, cruel world and with her gone I felt powerless. I felt like my heart had stopped, as if all emotion had left me, as if I wasn't capable of loving anymore. Because the only thing I had ever loved had abandoned me. There was no one left to protect me anymore. I needed my mother to protect me from this horrible man that dared to call himself my father. And even though I didn't want to admit it, since I was already eighteen, I was still my mother's little boy and I had loved her dearly even though I never showed it enough. I was never going to be able to forgive myself for not treasuring her enough like she had deserved it. I guess I was simply too wrapped up in my problems to really make time for that. 

After my mother's death my father's condition got even worse. I had never thought such a thing was even possible, but my father got even more violent and abusive than before. I realized that my father had really loved my mother, in some weird, twisted way. I also realized that she was probably the only thing he had ever loved. 

All of these things happening had shaped me into a cold, distant person, incapable of loving anyone, not even myself. I became reckless, emotionless. My attitude in life was also the reason I ended up going to jail. Working as a bouncer for years at club Rose really didn't help at softening me up. I was always ready for a fight, always ready to deal with the more problematic customers. In fact, I ended up getting sentenced to over one year of prison for involuntary manslaughter. That customer had been especially hard to deal with. Somehow, the moment my hand had connected with the man's temple, I knew I wasn't going to get out of this one. Witnessing that man lying on the cold, dirty concrete ground in a puddle of his own blood caused me to snap back into reality. It caused me to understand what kind of monster I had become over the years of abuse and familial violence. And it caused me to believe that I had deserved all of it, that I deserved the punishment I was going to receive. I had destroyed the lives of so many people with one single punch. And even though those people deserved an apology, the shame and guilt of doing something so abominable and loathsome held me back all that time. 

And even though I didn't know Levi even remotely long enough, I still felt this weird connection to the guy. I could feel myself changing, I could feel myself wanting to change all those terrrible sides of my personality for Levi. Someone I had barely known for a couple of days was beginning to tear my walls down, was beginning to dig through my many layers and find out more things about me that I didn't would usually let on. The days passing after I had left club Rose for good gave me a lot of time to think. They gave me a lot of time to not only think about my past, but also about Levi. About the decision I had made. The decision I had made to ensure his safety. I was convinced I had made the right decision. Or at least I was trying to tell myself that. Over and over again, until it was imprinted into my brain. Club Rose had a very skilled and dedicated security team, they would keep Levi safe at all costs, especially because most of the employees noticed the dilemma that happened with his ex. I had also been informed that the back door had been replaced and reinforced with several locks, because I otherwise wouldn't have been able to sleep at night. I could rest assured that nothing bad was going to happen to Levi. But for some odd reason I had a bad feeling in my gut. But luckily, I had faith in my friends. And also a small amount of my sanity left, or I would have secretly creeped in at night and checked on Levi myself.

I couldn't really remember why I was even lying on the couch in the middle of the night, watching TV and overthinking. I wasn't the type of person to worry about anything. After I had left jail I was as careless as ever, considering that I had hit the lowest point in my fucking life I was ever going to hit that was actually pretty understandable. My life had gone to shit and I was at absolute rock bottom, so I didn't see a point in bothering about anything, really. I was beginning to catch feelings for someone and starting to care about something else than feeding myself, taking a shit, going to bed at an acceptable time and which fucking Netflix show I was going to watch next and I absolutely hated it. Being dependant on other people really wasn't my thing. But what I absolutely hated the most was the fact that I was powerless to do anything about it. All my life I thought I was immune to love, I thought developing crushes and falling for someone was absolute bull, but now that that exact same thing was happening to me, I was beginning to question my morals. I was also beginning to realize that it wasn't as easy as simply getting over your crush and moving on with your life, but that sometimes love decides that things aren't allowed to go your way and it takes you hostage. It casts a spell over you, makes you feel entranced, makes you feel free, as if you're flying. But after every lift follows the fall. At least that's the lesson life had always taught me. That good things never last forever. But somehow I had hope that it wasn't always like that. 

Whatever I was beginning to feel for Levi at that time made me able to hope. It made me capable of hoping for good things and believing that they do last. And that was scary. Life had always been negative out of my perspective, since I didn't have many things to make me happy. The horrible side of my life always seemed to cover those up. It felt as if happiness fell into most people's laps, while I had to do my most desperate efforts to earn it. And even though I did, even though I always gave it my all despite being so absolutely tired of fighting, it was never actually enough and I was never able to reach the finishing line. But Levi caused me to believe that one day I could. That one day I could reach that line. I quickly realized that I had made the wrong decision. I realized that the only and best way for me to get rid of this weird, heavy feeling in my chest was to be with Levi. And when the screen of my phone lit up and the familiar jingle of my ringtone started playing, I jumped up from the couch, almost bursting with joy. I felt like a teenage boy again, the realization only making me more energized. Time passed by so slowly in that hell hole I called home, especially since I had nothing to do at home except for listening to my parents argue all day, and it was a relieve to have that feeling of youth back, even though I wasn't even thirty yet at that time. 

"Hello?", I answered the phone without checking who was even calling me and in a happy tone of voice. 

"Eren? Oh, thank God you answered.", Armin spoke, sounding as if he was in a complete rush. I could hear the others talking in the background as well. 

"What happened?" 

"I'm sorry, Eren, I don't know what else to do, but you need to come over here." 

"Why? Jesus, fuck- Armin, I've told you this a hundred times, you need to stop beating around the bush.", I began to slightly raise my voice, starting to get angry again. After everything that happened, after all the positive changes I went through after getting freed from prison, Armin would still act as if I couldn't handle any of it and was going to immediately snap at him in case he ever got too direct. I felt like a fucking child, which I clearly wasn't anymore. "Just tell me what the fuck happened." 

"Fine." I could hear Armin let out a sigh on the other line. "Levi was drugged. I suppose it's GHB." 

"Excuse me?"

"I'm so sorry, Eren. The guy who drugged him ran away the moment we spotted him.", Armin confessed in a quiet tone of voice, sounding intimidated, almost scared. The statment caused me to let out a low growl. I knew something like this was going to happen without me there. I wouldn't have left Levi's side for one second.  

"Was it _him_?" Armin hesitated for a couple of seconds. 

"We don't know.", he sighed, sounding just as tired out and confused and hurt as me in that moment. I suddenly felt extremely bad for getting so upset at Armin. I was probably making a way bigger deal out of the situation than was actually appropriate. I simply wasn't able to control myself whenever it came to Levi. "But we had a show today, so it could have been anyone." Now it was my turn to let out a sigh. 

"Fine. I'm coming." 

"Go to the hospital right away. I'm driving there right now because the others thought it was a good idea to get drunk on duty once again.", Armin spoke in an annoyed tone of voice, the end of the sentence coming out almost too quiet for me to be able to pick up as he took his mouth away from the mic. I heard Armin let out a string of curse words before he started to talk again. "We don't know how high the dosage was, so we're going to the ER just in case." 

"I'll meet you there.", I spoke, ending the call by pressing on the big red button, sliding my phone into the back pocket of my jeans. I basically sprinted towards our garderobe, grabbing my jacket and leaving Armin and Jean's apartment. The entire time that it took me to get to the hospital, I could barely focus on driving as worry plagued me. I began to blame myself even more than I already did. If I had been there, I would have been able to protect Levi. I would have stayed by his side the entire time after what happened with Farlan and could have prevented this whole dilemma from happening, but I had been too much of a coward to actually do so. I didn't even know if I was ready to face the awkward conversation Levi and I were going to have because of why I left club Rose so suddenly and didn't return for over a week, but I simply needed to see him. I needed to know that he was okay, I needed to see it with my own eyes. I needed the confirmation. I couldn't figure out what I was going to say to him, my head feeling way too scrambled for me to be able to even form a coherent thoughts, but it was going to be alright. At least that's what I hoped. You can never predict a certain outcome in any given situation, it can always turn out way differently than you anticipated. We don't have a saying in whether or not the outcome will be good or bad. But these feelings, whatever they were, I had for Levi made me able to hope for the postive one. Someone I had known for barely longer than a week managed to change me in ways that most people, who I have or had known my entire life, never could. 

That realization alone was enough proof that I had made the wrong decision back in club Rose. All my life, I got abandoned by people that I loved. I never wanted anyone that I cared for to have to go through that same type of pain. I didn't want to be that type of person and the only way for me to be able to redeem myself was to correct that mistake. And I desperately hoped that Levi was going to give me that second chance. And even though the choice I had made was a real dick move and totally shitty, I had only done what I thought was right and would be the best for all parties, so I felt like I deserved to get a second try. I could only pray that Levi felt the same. 

Once I had arrived at the hospital and parked my car, I asked the reception lady in which room Levi had been stationed. Once I got the floor and room number, I made my way towards the elevator, feeling way too tired to be in the mood for walking several flights of stairs. I pressed the button with the number three on it, the doors sliding shut and quiet, calming elevator music beginning to play which I could have easily fallen asleep to in that moment. When I arrived on the third floor, I began searching for the number of Levi's room, but didn't have to look very far as I rounded a corner and already saw Armin and the others sitting outside. As I walked closer to them, I could see that they all had fairly guilty expressions on their faces, everyone seemingly having sobered up quite a bit. The blonde spotted me first, a small, hesitant smile, decorating his features as he got up from his seat. 

"Eren.", Armin spoke, his voice sounding breathy and wavy as he wrapped his arms around my torso and buried his head into the crook of my neck. "I am so sorry. I don't know how we could let this happen." I returned the hug, my one hand coming to rest on Armin's head and slightly combing through his tousled golden locks. I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, breathing in Armin's all too familiar scent. Sometimes the only thing able to calm me down was a hug from my best friend. 

"Why are you apologizing the entire time? This wasn't your fault." We pulled apart, Armin having tears in his eyes and shooting me a knowing smile, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. Armin had managed to find out. If I was being honest, I shouldn't have been that surprised. Armin knew basically everything about me and had always been able to read me like a book. I just hoped that my potential feelings for Levi weren't too obvious to anyone else, especially the raven himself. "If anything, it was mine." Armin let out a slight, cold chuckle as he wiped at his eyes furiously to keep the tears from spilling. In that moment I understood why Armin was even crying in the first place. He felt sorry for me. He knew what I was going through in that moment, he knew that I was putting the blame on myself, that I couldn't help myself from carrying the burden and Armin was sharing my pain. I was overwhelmed by the sudden feeling of love and affection for my friends. Meeting them was the best thing that ever happened to me. They had become my family over the years and I wasn't going to make the same mistake of not treasuring them enough like I had done with my mother. That was when the door to Levi's room opened and a middle-aged man with slightly grey turning hair roots and a doctor's white coat and a clip board in hand stepped out. 

"Are you the relatives of Levi Ackerman?", the doctor asked, sounding pretty unmotivated and tired out, which was understandable since it was the middle of the night. Hange let out a slight chuckle, which quickly turned into a full on laugh. 

"No. Thank fuck not.", he spoke after he had calmed down and regained his composure, the doctor's eyes slightly widening as he was being sweared at. I couldn't believe that Hange was this shameless even in front of the doc. "But we're the only family he's got right now." The doctor swallowed thickly, simply nodding. 

"Well," he announced as he cleared his throat. "Your friend will end up just fine. The only right now occuring side effects are the sleepiness and increased libido, but Mr. Ackerman will power through those with absolute ease, so no worries." My eyebrows basically flew off my face when the doctor mentioned the part about the 'increased libido'. 

"We'll keep your friend here for tonight. I suppose he's still asleep right now, but you're free to go inside if you want. Just be sure to be quiet so you don't disturb the other patients. The walls are thin.", the doctor added, shooting us all a reassuring smile before beginning to walk down the corridor and entering another patient's room. Even though the blame was still weighing heavily on my shoulders, I definitely felt relieved that Levi was going to make it out of this fairly okay. Maybe a little bit emotionally scarred, but that could be fixed as well.

"Wow.", I heard Hange gasp once the doctor was out of ear-shot. "That doctor was hot as fuck." 

"Hange!", Armin scolded, back to his old usual self after he heard that Levi would be fine, raising a finger at Hange as if he was reprimanding a child. I couldn't help but chuckle at that. It felt so good to finally be back after over a week of not having talked to any of them except for Jean and Armin. I had missed those idiots so much. "Levi could have died and all you're thinking about is how you want to bang the doc?"

"Can you not destroy my dreams for once in your fucking life?"

And even though I should have laughed, even though I should have done my absolute best to relief the tension of the situation, one particular part of what Armin had said kept flying around in my head and simply wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. 

_"Levi could have died."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for even more angst.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets a very special birthday present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck me. This took way longer to come out than I intended it to. The reason for that is that I've been in a really rough patch mentally and creatively right now, so this took me a while. But the plot is slightly beginning to thicken and I am really excited for all the stuff that's going to happen in the future! I am also really proud of myself for keeping up the word count of over 3k words each chapter, so yeah. I really gave this chapter my all and I hope you enjoy!

After Levi got drugged and returned home from the hospital, things basically went back to the way they were before. The both of us ignored each other when ever we met in person, but for the majority of my time I stayed inside the appartment I was sharing with Jean and Armin and watched shows on Netflix and binge-ate unhealthy foods. I simply couldn't endure being in Levi's presence. The way his eyes looked so empty and his cheeks so sunken in broke me. It broke me to know that I had done this to him and that there was no way I would be able to redeem myself and make it better. I figured that things would be able to turn back to normal, that after the incident with Farlan and the pictures and the video, the both of us would be able to return to normal as well, but I couldn't have been more wrong. It was absolutely torturous on my part. It felt torturous to know that Levi had changed into this person that I barely recognized. Someone who was entirely focused on work to distract themselves from the agony and the despair, someone who looked absolutely unhealthy because they weren't able to eat because whenever they did, the memories, the memories of being drugged and almost being taken advantage of, would flash up in front of their eyes. Someone who had developed self-destructive behavior to make it all go away, to produce other problems that would cover up the major issue at hand. I knew from experience what that was like. I knew what it felt like to carry the burden of knowing that people capable of doing such horrible things were out there and I didn't dare blame Levi for acting the way he did.

I barely got any sleep knowing that it was all my fault, knowing that Levi's mental state being at rock bottom was all because of me. Levi was someone I had grown to care about a lot in those past couple of weeks that we had known each other and hurt or bring him any pain was the last thing I wanted to do, which made me think of myself as an even more horrible person than I originally already did. I quickly noticed that sometimes, despite your most desperate efforts, harming people that you love and care about is inevitable. There was nothing I could have done to prevent that situation. But that fact didn't exactly make me feel better, it simply caused me to realize just how absolutely powerless we are sometimes. 

That was the reason I almost ripped Armin's head off when he stormed into my room one day with his usual cheery attitude. Three hours of sleep and me feeling emotionally drained and stressed out and tensed up definitely wasn't a good combination. 

"Get up, birthday boy!", Armin called out, opening to blinds, which caused me to let out a deep groan and pull my blanket over my head because the sun was shining in my face so rudely. That was until my still half-asleep brain had processed the words 'birthday boy'. I let out a less than manly screech at that and basically threw the duvet across half the room as I grabbed my phone, pressing the home button and making the screen light up. 30th of March. I let out an even louder groan than before. I absolutely hated celebrating my birthday and each year I simply hoped that my friends would forget. But because Armin was Armin and he paid detail to the smallest, most stupid things, I should have anticipated that he had something absolutely extravagant and dramatic planned. And because of all the emotional trauma I had had to go through those past couple of weeks, I had completely repressed the fact that I was going to have to mentally prepare myself for a potential birthday party. Life had definitely chosen the worst possible time for some depression, which was just typical for someone with the shittiest luck ever witnessed on earth like me. 

"Fuck me.", I breathed out as I pinched the bridge of my nose to kind of try and calm myself down. Knowing Armin, he probably had a surprise party planned for me and those were the absolute worst. I hated those even more than just regular parties. I really couldn't pin down what the reason for that was. Probably just my regular anti-social tendencies and the fact that I hate interacting with others. Or just people in general. "I completely forgot it's my birthday today." 

"Bitch, that's because all you've been doing these past couple of weeks is stay inside and watch Netflix shows and dwell on your sorrow.", Armin spoke as he began digging through my closet, pulling numerous pieces of clothing out and carelessly throwing them on the floor if they didn't fit his taste in that moment. "You need to get out more. I share your pain, honey, I really do, but it's not gonna get any better like this."

"You have no idea how I feel.", I exclaimed, beginning to slightly raise my voice. I absolutely hated it when Armin would stick his nose into my business like that. I was the only one who was able to tell how I was truly feeling. Armin didn't get to decide any of that. I was a grown ass man, I could make my own choices. And if one of those was isolating myself because I felt heartbroken, then so be it. Armin had to accept that as well. Armin let out a deep sigh at that statement, as he stopped taking apart my closet to turn around and shoot me an empathetic smile. 

"Honey, I've known you all my life. You're hurting worse than you're willing to admit.", Armin spoke before fixing his attention back on my garderobe. The blonde pulled out my most fancy clothes, a black shirt and black suit pants, which I hadn't worn in what seemed like forever. He threw the pieces of clothing, which I somehow managed to catch despite my state of still feeling extremely sleepy and drowsy, at me before opening his mouth once more. "Now, you're going to put these on plus your best shoes. You're not gonna wear your disgusting ass sneakers on your special day." 

"Why? What the fuck is this even for?", I asked, beginning to slightly calm down as confusion took over my feelings of anger. Also, even though I would rarely admit it, my best friend was right once again. Armin could always read me so well, he was the only person who I was never able to keep any secrets from. He always knew that there was a tornado of emotions raging inside me. And even though I tried my absolute best to hide it, I ended up appreciating Armin's efforts of forcing the truth out of me and trying to soothe the pain somehow every time. I wasn't a very affectionate person and things like that had never been easy for me, not even when I was younger, when my life was still easier and more bearable, and I really hoped Armin knew. I hoped Armin knew how thankful I was. "What are you planning, Armin?" A bright grin creeped onto Armin's lips, which caused me to shit my pants just a little. Even though the blonde didn't seem like it, he was the devil incarnate and was going to do everything in his power to embarrass me or force me to do stupid shit. 

"Don't worry.", he spoke, letting out a laugh at the end as he slightly shoved me by the shoulder. "I'm certain you're going to enjoy your surprise this time." Armin's smile only widened at that statement and he even winked, which didn't exactly ease my nerves. 

"Now put on your damn clothes! We don't have all day." I simply rolled my eye as I muttered a quiet 'yes, mom', Armin quickly storming out of my room as I took off my shirt. Once I was fully dressed, the both of us got into Armin's car and I quickly noticed, since I had taken the same exact route too many times to be able to count, that we were driving to club Rose. I didn't know what was so special about the place that Armin had to force me to wear my most fashionable clothes and make an extra big deal out of it, but I decided to trust my best friend's judgement this time. Once Armin had parked his car in the parking lot of club Rose, he opened the glovebox and took out a black, fluffy blindfold, which caused me to let out an exasperated groan. 

"Really, Armin?"

"I swear to you, this time it will be worth putting it on.", Armin spoke, shooting me puppy eyes which I had never been able to resist. I groaned once again and snatched the blindfold from Armin's hand, putting it on after I had exited the vehicle. I could feel Armin's hand on my bicep as he began walking towards the entrance and automatically pulling me after him. After Armin had guided me inside, he pulled me onto one of the stools which appeared to be standing in the middle of the dance floor. 

"Put your hands through the bars of the stool.", Armin instructed me, my ears picking up the quiet sound of metal clinking. I decided to keep my mouth closed despite my obvious confusion and trust Armin just this once. He seemed to have put a lot of effort into all this and I truly believed that just this once it could turn out to not be a disappointment or a way of trying to make a fool out of me. So I obeyed, sticking my hands through the bars, immediately regretting my decision as I could feel soft material being dragged along my wrists and hear the sound of handcuffs clicking into place. I tried moving my hands, trying to get free somehow, but Armin had succeeded in tricking me and cuffing me to the damn chair. 

"I bought a pair of plush handcuffs, just for you." 

"What the fuck is this, Armin?", I asked, hoping Armin didn't hear the panic in my voice. I was having flashbacks of when I was arrested and shook my head, as if that was any help in getting those thoughts of darker times in my life to go away. 

"Just sit back and enjoy.", Armin mubled into my ear in a deep, throaty voice, putting special emphasis on the last word and slipping the blindfold off my head, causing me to squint as my eyes tried to adjust to the light again. "Me and the others will be there the entire time to watch you suffer." Once I was able to see again, my jaw almost dropped to the floor and my eyes nearly popped out of my skull as I witnessed what was before me. I was sitting in front of the stairs that led to the stage, Levi, only wearing leather shorts and stupidly good, but also uncomfortable, looking leather boot heels that reached to his thighs, combined with a headband with cat ears, mind you, standing next to the pole with his back turned towards me as he looked at me over his shoulder with a look that made me want to break those stupid handcuffs and fuck him right then and there. I turned around as I could hear the others' giggles coming from behind me, shooting all of them a death glare, but specifically Armin. That was the moment sensual music started to play and the lights dimmed. That was also the moment I noticed I was totally fucked. 

Levi ran his hands down the backs of his legs and proceeded to fall onto his hands and knees, arching his back in such a delicious way, before sinking down into a split, causing me to choke on my own spit. Levi was so extraordinarily flexible that actually seeing him in action took my breath away each damn time. I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander and think about the fact that his flexibility also gave him a huge advantage in the sex department. I couldn't help but fantasize about all the new possibilities this could provide. The raven grabbed onto the pole, lifting himself up effortlessly, before wrapping his legs around it and spinning, landing on his knees again on the floor. Standing up, he grabbed onto the pole once more with both hands, doing numerous body rolls as his eyes found mine once again, shooting me a quick wink and biting his lower lip. I was struggling against my confines, wanting to run my hands all over Levi's beautiful body, touch him any way that I could. 

"I swear to God, Armin, I'm gonna break those damn handcuffs!", I exclaimed, shooting the blonde another death glare over my shoulder. All Armin did was let out numerous loud giggles. This so wasn't fair. In that moment I couldn't really think of anything, which was understandable, considering the breathtaking show going on in front of me and the rock hard boner pressing against the front of my suit pants, but I was going to get revenge on Armin. Somehow. One day. Maybe I was going to strap him to a chair and force Jean to perform for him. Chances that Jean was actually going to consent to doing such a thing were practically zero, but I could dream. Levi walked around the pole in a circle, always keeping one hand on it, before raising one leg and leaning his head back. He gripped the pole with both hands once more, raising himself and doing a center-split in the air before spinning around the pole and landing on his feet, tapping the floor with his shoe to make a clacking noise, before turning around so he was leaning against the pole. That was the moment the others behind me started clapping, chanting wildly like a group of fangirls. But Levi paid them no mind, keeping his eyes fixed on me the entire time, mustering me like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed and that expression in itself gave me the will to believe. 

It gave me the will to believe that the both of us could have a future. Not just as fuckbuddies, but also something else. Something with a deeper connection. Something I had secretly longed for my entire life. I never thought that such a thing was possible, that loving someone until the end of your days was possible, but with Levi I could believe that it was. Somehow. That was the reason I immediately gave the handcuffs tying me to the chair a strong pull, I needed to do something, I needed Levi to understand, I needed Levi to know what I was feeling, the chain breaking in half and causing me to get free. I basically sprinted up the stairs and onto the stage, pulling Levi towards me by the hips and crashing my lips onto his, the raven kissing me back instantaneously with just as much fervor. That kiss felt so much different than all our previous ones. It felt like a silent confession. Our lips were moving softly against each other's, his hand tangling in my hair and the other coming up to cup my cheek and to me it seemed like Levi was able to understand without me actually having to say anything. It almost seemed as if Levi was trying to tell me he felt the same. But I figured that was more my own wishful thinking. I could hear more clapping and cheering as the both of us pulled apart, but I tried drowning out the others' voices, simply wanting to enjoy the moment as much as possible while I still had it. 

"Fuck you, Eren!", Armin called in a cheery voice, obviously not being serious. Somehow, the both of us would often use insults in an endeering way. "You destroyed my surprise." I let out a low chuckle at that. 

"Yeah, well, bite me, Armin.", I spoke, flipping the blonde off quickly, which caused him to let out a scoff. "You were basically torturing me. How am I supposed to not break the damn cuffs when Levi's dancing like  _that_?" 

"Well, I didn't just do this so I could torture you.", Armin spoke, taking a couple of steps forward and shooting me a knowing look. I furrowed my eyebrows at that. 

"What do you mean?" Armin quietly chuckled. 

"I think you should talk that out with Levi yourself." That got me thinking. My thoughts were reeling, all the things I had wanted to say for weeks overwhelming me, making me feel the urgent need to release them into the world, making me feel like Levi deserved and should know about them. I wasn't going to rest until he did. The blonde let out a sigh, quickly regaining his cheery manners as a bright smile creeped onto his lips. "But let's eat some cake first, shall we?" I didn't really listen to what Armin had said after the first part, quickly cutting him off from whatever he was going to do next. 

"I'm sorry, but not happening. At least not now.", I exclaimed as I bent down, picking up Levi by the legs and throwing him over my shoulder, the raven feelinge extremely light as I carried him down the stage and towards his dressing room. I honestly shouldn't have been that surprised since he was like four feet tall. Levi was struggling in my grasp, giggling as he was protesting to be set down on the ground again since he apparently had a 'fear of heights'. The guy was going to kill me one day. I twisted the knob, pushing open the door to the raven's dressing room with my foot, halting when I saw the kind size bed with black silk sheets standing on the opposite side of the room. I shrugged, walking up to it and dropping Levi onto the bed, immediately climbing on top of him and caging him to the bed with my body. 

"Eren, what-"

"Just listen to me, okay?" Levi definitely looked taken aback and confused, but agreed none the less with a nod. I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds and took deep breaths, trying to somehow calm down and prepare myself. I quickly found out that there was no way I would have ever been able to prepare myself for this type of conversation. So I simply went all out. 

"Eren, you don't-" 

"I'm sorry!", I spoke, panting heavily, like those words alone had taken all my willpower to actually speak out loud. And they kind of did. I had shut myself off, had isolated myself to avoid this exact moment, to avoid having to confess the actual reason why I wouldn't show up at club Rose anymore to Levi. But the moment those words had left my lips, I had passed the point of no return, the words basically rolling off my tongue without any filter. "I'm sorry. The whole ordeal with Farlan was all my fault. If it hadn't been for me, none of this would have happened." 

"Is that why you avoided me?" I was slightly taken aback at Levi's question, not expecting him to actually care. I actually thought about lying for a second, not wanting to confess doing something so childish, but quickly decided that not telling the truth wasn't going to do me any good here either and that I should simply handle this like an adult and nodded. 

"Yeah. I couldn't look you in the eyes, knowing that the reason why you were feeling so horrible was me.", I spoke, feeling the weight of weeks of quietly dealing with my guilt and sorrow fall from my shoulders. It felt so good that I was finally able to talk to Levi about this. I made a mental note to thank Armin later. "So, if you'll forgive me, I'd love to take you out sometime. If you want to, of course! I just feel like we rushed the entire thing a bit and I thought-" If I hadn't felt Levi's pointer finger press against my lip, I probably wouldn't have stopped talking for another minute and I inwardly thanked him for not letting me make a fool of myself. The raven shot me a reassuring smile which gave me severe heart palpitations. 

"I'll gladly let you take me out on a date sometime, Eren." Before I had time to answer, or react in any way for that matter, I could already feel Levi's lips on mine again and I sure as hell wasn't going to complain. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi are finally going on a date! And I am super excited to write that chapter, I really enjoy writing pure, tooth-rotting fluff. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and tune in for the next one!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a little bit of Armin's help, Eren manages to arrange a nice date with Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE DISCLAIMER: I deleted the original chapter 10 because of a few different reasons. I really enjoyed the chapter and I was proud of my work, but that's not the point. I had originally planned to split the date into chapter 10 and 11, but chapter 11 turned out to be really short, so I decided to put those two together into one chapter, which is the one you are going to read. I also made that decision so I would have a more even chapter count. (People will probably think I'm petty about this, but I just like when things are in order.) Anyway, even though the current chapter length of the new chapter 10 (6586 words) is a little too long for my own liking, this is how I think it works the best with the story. I'm sorry in case this caused any confusion for some of my readers, I will also put a disclaimer at the beginning of next chapter, so everyone is informed. 
> 
> So, about the actual chapter. Of course, a lot has changed and the only real thing you have to watch out for is the smut at the end of the chapter. The smut this time actually went a lot easier, since it wasn't the main part of the chapter and was a little more on the light, comforting side. Anyway, this chapter took way too long for me to complete and I hope you guys enjoy!

"Hey.", Armin spoke in a soft voice as I sat down next to him on the couch in the lounge of club Rose. My head was still spinning after all the things I had said to Levi. I really didn't want to know what else would have left my mouth if the raven hadn't decided to stop my little rambling session. I didn't even have to look at the blonde to know that he was grinning at me. I let out a deep sigh. I felt so confused. This entire situation was way too new to me. I wasn't used to actually having romantic feelings for someone and, even though that fact was hard for me to admit, I felt scared. It felt foreign to have someone in my life that I didn't just care for on a platonic level. I hadn't felt emotions like love in such a long time, having always been too catious to have been able to have a serious relationship with anyone, that I couldn't even tell what I was feeling. But having asked Levi on that date seemed like the first step in the right direction to be able to learn that.

"I'm going to ask you this just once. And I'd like you to answer truthfully.", Armin spoke up after a couple of minutes of silence. I furrowed my brows slightly, but decided to nod my head, urging him to go on. "Are you in love with Levi?" That question completely caught me by surprise and I choked on my own saliva, causing me to almost break out into a caughing fit. Out of all the things Armin could have possibly asked, this was the least expected. And even though the answer to that seemed pretty clear in that moment, I seemed to hesitate. I quickly noticed that I couldn't just say yes or no, I quickly noticed that things weren't always black and white and as easy as that. That realization didn't exactly make the entire situation of trying to find out what I was feeling for Levi easier, but I supposed I would just have to see. That's what dates are for. Getting to know the other person better. I suddenly felt extremely glad that I had asked Levi out. Because I wanted to find out more about him. Actually, I wanted to find out everything that I could.

"'Dunno. I guess I'll just have to find out when we go on our first date on Friday." I could hear Armin let out a dramatic gasp at that statement, which caused me to turn my head to look at my best friend, a big grin decorating his features. Armin seemed as if he was going to burst with joy. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that, a big smile creeping onto my face as well.

"Where will you be taking him?" That was the moment I noticed I had fucked up majorly. I had fucked up big time. The realization that I had arranged a date without actually knowing how and what to prepare for one hit me before Armin had even fully voiced that question. Friday was in two days and I had never been on a single date in my life. I had zero experience. I might have been a charmer and all that, but that didn't mean I was able to simply pull all the things necessary for a successful date out of my ass. If I was being honest, at that point I didn't even really know what those things even were. Armin spoke up again when he noticed that I was unusually quiet and about to have a panic attack because of how I was already able to see my first ever date miserably fail before my eyes. I felt ready to jump up from my seat, make up some stupid excuse and cancel the date, not wanting to endure that type of humiliation. "You didn't think that far, did you?" I simply shook my head.

"I'm sorry. I should probably just cancel the date, I'll-", I spoke as I got up from my seat on the couch, but stopped when I felt a small hand tightly grip my wrist. Armin pulled me towards him, forcing me to sit down again. Armin shot me a small, reassuring smile, which caused me to calm down slightly.

"You're not cancelling anything. You're Eren Jaeger, you're pulling through until the damn end, because that's the type of person you are.", Armin comforted me, grabbing my hand and rubbing his thumb over the back of it as a way of trying to put my mind at ease even more, which seemed to work. Armin had always been good at soothing others and that was only one of the many reasons why I admired him so much. "Besides, I'm there to help you as much as I can."

"Really?", I asked, the irrational part of my brain getting the best of me once again. Although I acted like a tough guy and looked like one on the outside, I would still have my doubts every once in a while. Even around Armin, my best friend and someone I had known for as long as I could remember, I couldn't help but feel insecure around the blonde whenever he would behave affectionately towards me. I couldn't help but feel like some people only did it out of pity for me. Armin looked at me as if I had suddenly grown a second head.

"Are you kidding me? Eren, how many times do I have to tell you this? Of course!", Armin spoke as he began to sound upset. "You know I love you, Eren. And I know you would do the same for me, too, so don't doubt yourself, okay?"

"I'm just-", I spoke, cutting myself off mid-sentence, not wanting to admit something so personal about myself. I didn't want Armin to know that I was feeling scared. Before I had met Levi, nothing could faze me. But everything kind of changed when he entered my life. I was a damaged person and I had had my methods of avoiding catching feelings for someone. But I sort of all let it happen with Levi, I had made zero efforts of trying to push him away, of trying to not let him get too close to me. I simply let Levi barge down my walls, which I had spent years building, within a time period of a couple weeks. So yes, I was scared. I was scared of this new feeling in my chest and there was nothing I was able to do to stop it. It felt as if someone had thrown you into the ocean while you didn't know how to swim and told you to figure the whole thing out by yourself. It was scary as hell. And I was slowly but surely beginning to feel like I was going to drown.

"Scared.", Armin finished for me, squeezing my hand, which he was still holding, just a little tighter. "And that's okay. After all you've been through, it's okay you feel that way, Eren. Showing weakness isn't a bad thing." Once again, I felt overwhelmed by the appreciation I was feeling for my best friend. I also felt a little bad. After all his support, after all the things Armin and I had overcome together as friends, I was still doubting him. I actually felt like I was going to cry. I supposed Armin noticed, as he quickly spoke up again and changed the subject.

"Now, where should we start?", he asked, shooting me a reassuring smile. I felt so glad that Armin was there to help me. I was so unexperienced and didn't even know where to fucking start. "I think you should go to Sasha's place for dinner. At least then we know the food is good and definitely something Levi will enjoy as well." Armin let out a quiet screech of joy.

"I'm gonna have so much fun choosing outfits for the both of you!" I let out a quiet laugh at that. 

"You want to choose what I'm gonna wear?" Armin nodded enthusiastically.

"You have horrible taste. You're gonna need my help if you don't want Levi to run the moment he sees you." I laughed even louder. I felt so extremely honored to have such an amazing best friend like Armin who was always able to shine a light on a horrible situation and cheer me up. And even though Armin didn't even demand much from me, since he knew I had severe problems with showing affection and such, I told myself I was going to try my best to give back to Armin and show him how much I cared more often.

"Thank you, Armin. Really. I don't know what I would do without you." A bright smile creeped onto Armin's lips at that statement.

"That's what I'm here for."

I think Armin was even more nervous than me on my date night. The blonde had decided to leave work early so he would be able to dress me up for the occasion. He basically kicked down the door when he arrived at our shared appartment, thirty minutes before I was supposed to pick up Levi. Armin stormed into my bedroom with a look of determination, ripping open the closet door and pulling out piece after piece, the ones he didn't like earning a light snort before landing on the floor. Once he was done, Armin sat down black ripped skinny jeans, a white shirt with some type of floral pattern on it and an old black suit jacket, which I probably hadn't worn in years, on the bed and smiled approvingly, seemingly proud of his work. All I could think about was the fact that I was going to have to clean up the mess that was my room later.

"This is it. The perfect outfit." I furrowed my brows, feeling sceptical about the whole look.

"You think so? Seems a little fancy if we're just going to Sasha's place."

"It might be a small diner, but it has atmosphere.", Armin spoke, shooting me a look that could kill. He hated it when people doubted his taste in clothing. "You are going to wear this, combined with your Doc Martens. No excuses." I let out a small sigh. Even though I hated being all dressed up, I trusted my best friend and his judgement when it came to fashion. Besides, I was positive that Levi liked seeing me in those types of outfits. The happiness I was feeling at that realization kind of began to overwhelm me. Before getting released from prison and meeting Levi, I never really cared about such to me at the time insignificant things like appearance and the fact that I finally had someone I wanted to impress again made me feel ecstatic. I let out another sigh. I was also kind of getting progressively more nervous as each minute passed, running a hand through my hand and slightly pulling at the strands as a way of distracting myself. Armin quickly taught me after the talk the both of us had had two days prior that there isn't much you can prepare before a date and that most of it was up to me. That knowledge didn't exactly ease my mind.

"You okay? If you really hate the outfit that much we can just cut the jacket." I shook my head, trying to chase different scenarios of how the date could possibly go wrong away.

"I don't hate it, I'm just-", I cut myself off by biting my lower lip, not wanting to admit something so vulnerable about myself. But there wasn't really any point in keeping it from Armin or lying, the blonde was going to force it out of me anyway. "I'm just nervous." Armin shot me a reassuring smile, grabbing my hand and rubbing his thumb over the back of it like he did a couple days earlier.

"I know, honey. But that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing, in fact!", Armin exclaimed, the smile on his face only growing. "It just shows how much you care about this date going well." I couldn't help but smile back at that statement.

"Now get dressed already! You're gonna be late.", Armin scolded me, swiftly leaving my room and shutting the door behind him. Once I was done getting dressed, I put on my Doc Martens, like Armin had ordered me to, and looked in the mirror, quickly readjusting a couple of strands of hair that got ruffled. I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds and took numerous deep breaths to try and calm my nerves, before grabbing my car keys and my phone from my nightstand and exiting my room again.

"Oh my gosh. You look absolutely amazing!", Armin gasped quietly as he laid eyes on me, a big smile decorating his features. "Levi's gonna swoon once he sees you."

"We'll see about that.", I chuckled quietly, the compliments making me shift on the spot uncomfortably. I never really knew how to deal with positive comments, only used to the negative ones. "I sure hope so."

"Now go get him, tiger.", Armin spoke, the bright grin never leaving his face, pushing me towards the front door.

The nervousness only really kicked in once I was standing in front of Levi's place with my car. I gripped the stearing wheel tightly, so tight, in fact, that my knuckles had turned white, and took numerous deep breaths once more. For once in my life I felt like I was compatible with someone else and I really didn't want to mess it up. I didn't know what that meant regarding my possible feelings for Levi and I certainly wasn't in the mood to give it much thought. I would still have enough time to sort it all out after the date. At the time I simply wanted to enjoy my alone time with Levi. I jumped out of the car and strode up to the giant apartment complex Levi lived in, almost falling square on my face when I slightly tripped. That was the moment I noticed just how nervous I really was. I straightened out my jacket and thanked God that no one saw me nearly knock out all my teeth and pressed the bell which had a tag with 'Levi Ackerman' written on it stuck to it.

"I'll be down in a minute, Eren!", I heard Levi's voice call almost instantly over the intercom. Levi swung open the door almost exactly a minute later, my jaw almost falling to the floor and my eyes almost popping out of my skull at the sight before me. Levi was wearing a baby blue fuzzy sweater, combined with a black leather jacket, ripped black skinny jeans like me and a pair of all black converse. Since Levi and I had never met in private before, seeing him in such casual attire was quite strange. Besides, his outift was pretty damn cute. I desperately wanted to say something, make him a compliment, but only incoherent sounds would leave my mouth and Levi mustering me as if I was the biggest fool he had ever seen was the only thing able to knock me out of my little trance.

"Don't look at me like that.", I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. A smile creeped onto Levi's lips at that statement.

"I can't help it. You simply look too cute when you're speechless." I choked on my spit, almost breaking out into a coughing fit, Levi slightly patting me on the back as he chuckled. Once I had composed myself again, I couldn't do anything but stare at Levi for that comment. That man was absolutely unbelievable. "Like right now." Levi's huge smile grew even more and I couldn't help but return it, sligthly shaking my head.

"You're one of a kind, Levi Ackerman.", I spoke barely above a whisper. "But seriously, you look fantastic. Holy shit." Levi laughed once again.

"I guess you can thank Armin for that.", Levi said, beginning to walk towards my car. Looking over his shoulder, he grinned. "But you don't look too bad yourself, Jaeger." The only thing I could really think about in that moment was the fact that this man was going to kill me if he kept this up for much longer.

"You coming?", Levi asked, turning around fully and walking backwards. I simply nodded, jogging to catch up to him.

The both of us actually didn't talk much in the car and that was the point my anxiety returned to me. Even though I was trying my best to stay positive, I was still scared that it might be this level of awkward for the rest of the evening we were going to spend together. The moment Levi and I entered Sasha's place, I was hit by a sort of familiarity which I didn't feel anywhere else except for club Rose. Armin and I used to go to this diner almost every week before Armin became a full time dancer and I was incarcerated. The both of us quickly made friends with the owner's husband Connie, who had become a frequent customer and later on a bouncer at club Rose. Because of some familiar issues, which involved his wife Sasha, Connie decided to quit. Despite our unfortunate circumstances, the four of us tried to stay in contact as much as possible.

"Eren!", I could hear an all too familiar voice call, Sasha walking up to me from behind the counter and engulfing me in a big hug, which I quickly returned. "It's so good to see you!" I let out a quiet chuckle, feeling a little guilty that I hadn't gotten in touch with Sasha in the past couple of weeks. The whole situation with Levi had been way too chaotic and I simply felt relieved that we had managed to sort it out.

"Well, who do we have here?", Sasha asked as the both of us pulled apart, her eyes roaming up and down Levi's figure. I noticed him shift in place uncomfortably because of all the attention he was getting. Sasha struck her hand out to Levi before speaking up once more. "I'm Sasha, the owner." The raven mustered her outstretched hand for a couple of seconds, before grabbing it and letting a hesitant smile creep onto his lips.

"Levi.", he introduced himself, as briefly as ever.

"Nice to meet you.", Sasha spoke, returning his small smile. "I never thought I'd be alive to witness the day that Eren Jaeger takes someone on a date. You must be pretty special, Levi." She shot the shorter man a quick wink, a small but to me still noticable blush dusting Levi's cheeks a pink color. The raven's eyes met mine for a couple of seconds and even though I wasn't able to read which emotions he was feeling, except for his obvious embarrassment, those magnificent silver orbs meeting my teal ones still took my breath away.

"Come on, I've got the perfect table for you two." Sasha lead us to a table on the other side of the diner which stood right in front of a giant window that gave an overview of the town's lake and cars driving by. "It's actually already booked, but I simply have to make an exception for you two." She shot the both of us another quick wink before disappearing into the kitchen again. Almost immediately after the both us had sat down, Sasha returned to our table with two menus in hand, giving each of us one.

"I'll have the Greek Salad.", Levi spoke, closing his menu and setting it down on the table. "As for drinks, I'll go with water." Sasha nodded, quickly scribbling down his order on a notepad. I skimmed through the menu as Levi ordered, noticing that not much had changed and nothing in particular sparked my interest, so I decided to simply order the usual hamburger with bacon and fries and a bottle of beer. Sasha nodded once more, writing my order down as well.

"Actually," Levi interrupted just as Sasha grabbed our menus and was about to walk away back to the kitchen. "I'll have whatever Eren's having."

"Excellent choice.", she complimented as she corrected the order, giving us a big smile. "You two have fun."

"So," Levi was first to break the silence once Sasha had left. "You know Sasha quite well, I suppose?"

"Yeah.", I answered as I quickly nodded. "Armin and I used to come here a lot before I was, you know, incarcerated." I quietly chuckled as a way of trying to relieve that heavy feeling weighing down my chest. Talking about my arrest and my time in prison made me feel melancholic. It was the darkest period in my life, even though there had been a lot of those, and I was trying to forget about is as much as I could, not wanting my criminal record do define me as a person anymore. Plus, I noticed that Levi shifted uncomfortably in his seat the moment the word 'incarcerated' had left my lips so I quickly decided to change the topic.

"How long have you been working at club Rose for?", I asked, Levi visibly lighting up at the question. The raven was very passionate when it came to his career, which was only one of the many things I admired about him. I supposed it definitely takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and so obviously on display as a pole dancer. And even though it was extremely cliche to think something like this, the fact that Levi oozed confidence made him even more attractive.

"A couple of months. Erwin described me as the club's knight in shining armor.", Levi answered, letting out a slight chuckle at the end, before saying the one thing I didn't want to hear. "Apparently the place was pretty messed up after you left." I should have seen that coming. I was still an employee back then, still working as a bouncer for club Rose and the fact that I had killed a customer probably spread all over the local news, scaring off most of the future guests. Another wave of guilt washed over me. I had almost caused all of my friends to lose their jobs because the place nearly went bankrupt. Levi's voice was the only thing able to stop me from delving deeper into those horrible thoughts.

"Did I say something wrong?", he asked, sounding insecure and staring at his hands which were folded neatly in his lap. "You look upset." I let out a quiet sigh. I had even managed to make Levi feel guilty, which was the last thing I wanted. All I wanted was to see him happy.

"No, Levi. You did nothing wrong, don't worry.", I spoke, shooting him a small reassuring smile as a way of trying to calm him down. "I just felt bad. It was my fault the place ended up in such horrible shape."

"But everything's better now.", Levi said as his cheeks turned a light pink, obviously trying to comfort me in his very weird, very unique, very Levi type of way. And it was actually working. "So, you don't have to feel guilty anymore." The smile resting on my face only grew.

"Whether you realized it or not, it was all thanks to you."

The both of us kept talking for a long time, so long in fact that the waiters and waitresses were shooting us weird glances after a couple of hours, but to me it felt like minutes. Time passed by much faster when I was in the presence of Levi and I didn't bother going into deeper detail about what that said about my feelings for him. Even though I did say I was going to make a decision after the date, I couldn't really bring myself to think about it, my mind feeling cloudy, foggy. I was obviously scared of the result.

We later agreed on leaving the place, Levi quickly hurrying to the restroom while I waited outside, lighting up a cigarette. I took a deep pull, immediately feeling more at ease as the smoke filled my lungs when I breathed in. I let my gaze wander towards the night sky, trying to distract myself further by identifying constellations, even though I was well aware of the fact that I didn't know a single one. That was the moment when a shooting star flew by, my breath slightly hitching in my throat at the sight and for a second I felt sad that Levi hadn't been there to witness it, I felt sad that Levi hadn't been there to witness it together with me, until I heard a quiet gasp followed by a giggle next to me. I turned my head, watching a giant smile creep onto Levi's face, revealing a set of straight, pearly white teeth. And when our eyes met, I felt breathless because of a completely different reason. Levi's cheeks were still contorted into a smile and flushed a light pink color, his eyes appearing to be a light, icy blue as the moonlight reflected off them and in that moment the raven was the most beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on. The way he looked so excited, so full of joy over seeing a shooting star made my heart clench with affection. I wanted to kiss him, pepper his entire face with kisses, make him feel loved, even if I was the person doing so. In that moment I didn't care about giving into my selfish desires and how wrong that would be, I simply wanted to have him. But instead of doing all those things I wanted to do, I clenched my fists tightly, so tightly in fact that I could feel my nails dig harshly into the flesh of my palms.

I fell. It was in that exact instant that I fell in love with Levi. And in that exact moment nothing felt more beautiful, it made me forget about the raging storm of negative emotions inside me for a couple of seconds, until reality came crashing down on me once again and I realized that the both of us could never work. That there would never be a 'we', because Levi was untouchable. Because I wasn't worth Levi's love even in the slightest, because he was the most amazing, most inspiring person I had ever met in my life, while I had nothing to give in return except for pain and loneliness. I was absolutely toxic in every way and no one would be able to love someone like that. There would never be a 'we' because I destroyed everything I touched, including the people that meant the most to me.

"Make a wish, Levi.", I spoke, barely loud enough that Levi was able to hear it, my voice sounding bitter, strained, silently praying that Levi didn't notice. Levi nodded his head and closed his eyes for a couple seconds, intertwining his hands in a way that indecated that he desperately wanted that wish to become true. The smile that was still decorating his features only grew bigger and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. When Levi opened his eyes again, he shot me a look, but I failed to pick up which emotion he was trying to convey, my mind concentrated on the fact that my heart was clenching so heavily that it was beginning to send waves of pain through my chest. But somehow, it was beginning to turn into a type of pain I enjoyed. The both of us quickly made our way home again, the car ride back to Levi's apartment proceeding in silence. I walked Levi to his door once the both of us had arrived, rubbing the back of my neck in slight awkwardness. The raven was first to speak up.

"I had a lot of fun today.", he spoke, a slight blush turning his cheeks a pretty rosy color as he smile sheepishly. I couldn't really believe that this was the same man that had performed a pole dancing show for me only two days prior, the same man that could bring me to my knees with a simple look or a simple touch. But I felt like that made Levi even more interesting. He had so many layers and each time I digged through one I hadn't seen before it only caused me to fall for him more. I couldn't help but return his smile. I also couldn't help but feel fascinated by how easy it was for Levi to make me crack a grin. It was in that moment that the realization of how absolutely fucked I was sinked in. I felt the sudden urge to get as far away from this man as possible, to do what I would always do: to run away from my problems even though they were laughing me right in the face, demanding attention, demanding to be dealt with. So that's exactly what I decided to do.

"Anyway," I said, while turning around to leave, my voice sounding foreign, so absolutely forced and fake, as the equally as forced and fake smile on my face widened. "I'll see you at club Rose tomorrow." I felt a small but warm hand wrap around my wrist tightly, the nails slightly digging into my skin. I spun around, furrowing my brows, not finding an answer as to what Levi could possibly want from me. The raven's blush that was still dusting his cheeks a light red turned an even darker shade of the color.

"Will you-", Levi started, cutting himself off mid-sentence and I was inwardly begging him to say it, needing to hear anything from his mouth in that moment, anything that could have made me believe that fighting for him and fighting for being loved by him in return wasn't going to be a complete waste of time. I shot him a small, reassuring smile, trying to do everything in my power to encourage him to speak those words out loud. And so he did and it was the last thing I expected to hear from his mouth. "Will you stay with me? Just for tonight?" I of course knew what Levi meant by that and even though I was practically setting myself up to be hurt in case I would actually decide to agree, I couldn't help but nod my head yes, my body acting before my brain was able to catch up.

Levi's apartment was clean, to say the least. It was completely spotless, not a single hair or crumb to be found anywhere. But that fact made me so extremely uncomfortable. The place felt empty, devoid of any signs of life, devoid of any signs that someone was even living there. Not a single item in that appartment was personal, it didn't even feel like a home. That thought just made my heart clench with sadness. But I supposed it made sense. Levi didn't even know what having a home was like. I felt the sudden urge to change that fact. Levi grabbed my hand hesitatingly, pulling me behind him as we walked up the stairs and into his bedroom. His bedroom was just as clean as the rest of his appartment and I didn't know why I was even surprised. Levi began stripping, taking off his leather jacket and sweater and carelessly dropping both articles of clothing on the ground. Even in the dark I noticed that Levi was shaking, his arms reaching up towards his torso, drawing along the lines of his ribs. I heard him quietly sniffle, letting out a broken sob which caused my eyes to widen and my breath to hitch in my throat. I did the only thing that came to my mind in that moment, allowing my jacket to fall onto the floor and pulling my shirt over my head as I walked towards Levi. I wrapped my arms around his back, cupping his hands with my own. I peppered kisses all over his neck, jaw, cheek, collarbone and basically everywhere I could reach, Levi turned his head, which made it able for me to kiss him on the mouth as well. The kiss was different from all our previous ones. There was no rush to it. It was slow and messy and wet but I absolutely loved it nonetheless. I gently pushed Levi onto the bed, continuing to kiss him, continuing to kiss him as if he was mine. I layed Levi down and the raven immediately spread his legs for me so I could lie in between them.

"How do you want it, baby? Do you want me to go slow?", I mumbled against Levi's lips, hands cupping his cheeks and trying to dry his tears, the smaller man letting out a high pitched whine at the pet name. I knew that what Levi needed in that moment was to be comforted and I was going to do just that if he wanted me to.

"Yes.", Levi whispered, sounding completely breathless already. "Please, just- take my clothes off, I can't take it." I decided to oblige, opening Levi's pants and pulling them down his legs, quickly noticing that he wasn't wearing underwear as his cock bounced against his stomach. I let my hands wander downwards and slightly ghost over Levi's gaping, fluttering hole, feeling him grab my wrist harshly at the contact. My eyes shot upwards, furrowing my brows in concern.

"You don't have to prepare me anymore, I'm already stretched.", Levi spoke quietly, his voice sounding strained, his face slightly scrunched up as if he was in pain.

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm sure. Just-", Levi cut off with a quiet whimper, his voice wavering and unstable as he spoke. "Please, Eren, I need you, I can't take it, I-" My hands flew upwards again to cup Levi's face, wiping at the new tears that were streaming down his cheeks, kissing his forehead gently.

"It's okay, baby. Don't worry.", I cooed, the nickname slipping from my lips once more. "I'll take care of you." I jumped up from the bed quickly, hearing Levi let out a whine at the loss of contact, walking up to the bedside table, opening the top drawer and looking for lube and a condom. And even though I felt slightly bad while rummaging around in Levi's nightstand, knowing that the raven was someone who valued his privacy a lot, I also knew that he was in no condition to really do anything in that situation and simply took matters into my own hands. Once I had unbuttoned and shrugged off my jeans and briefs, I swiftly climbed into bed again, nestling in between Levi's legs once more. I ripped open the condom package, giving myself a few harsh, fast strokes to get myself to full hardness, rolling the condom on afterwards. Aside from Levi's pants, it was completely quiet as I popped open the cap of the bottle of lube, the sound echoing in the room. I poured a generous amount of lube on my hand, covering my length, before putting one of Levi's legs on my shoulder and placing numerous soft kisses on the pale skin of his calf.

"Are you ready, baby?" Levi gave a week nod, burying his face in the sheets. I guided my member towards Levi's hole, applying a small amount of pressure, testing to see how far stretched he really was. The slide came fairly easily, but I stopped pressing in as soon as I heard Levi let out a muffled hiss. I leaned downwards, my hands resting next to Levi's head as I started mumbling sweet nothings into his ear as a way of trying to calm his down and make him relax a little bit, which seemed to work as Levi immediately stopped tensing his muscles. Levi nodded once more and I took that as a sign that I could continue, entering him a couple more inches, but quickly stopping once I felt Levi clench tightly around me again. And even though the pressure felt absolutely heavenly on my cock, I didn't want to hurt the raven after all. And besides, this was about Levi, about making him feel good and comforted and so extremely loved, not me. This went on for a couple more minutes, until I was fully sheathed inside him. Levi grabbed my neck, pulling me downwards into a sloppy, messy kiss, as I swallowed his moans with my mouth. Levi tasted sweet, like cherries and strawberries and apples and basically every fruit that I could think of, he tasted absolutely divine and I couldn't help but think that I would never get tired of it, that I would always want more of it, more of Levi. I slowly began to move as I felt Levi's muscles relax around my cock, moving my hips in circles, trying to angle them so I would brush against Levi's prostate each time. I quickly succeeded in doing so, hearing Levi let out a low moan. It didn't take long for Levi to tumble over the edge, splattering cum all over his abdomen and chest, some of it even reaching his chin, letting out a cry as he hit his climax. Our gazes met, Levi nodding weakly, urging me to continue and chase my own orgasm.

"Are you sure? I can just take care of this myself." Levi smiled reassuringly, locking his legs tightly around my hips. I started a brutal pace, Levi clenching tightly around me because of how oversensitive he was. I came shortly after and spilled into the condom, collapsing on top of Levi, just barely able to catch myself with my forearms and prevent him from getting crushed underneath my weight. I pulled out once I could feel my dick begin to soften, slipping it off and tying it into a knot before throwing it into the trash bin standing next to the bed.

"Where's the bathroom, Levi? I have to clean you up." The raven mumbled something about it being next to the bedroom, letting out a whine as I got off the bed and left his room. I came back barely a minute later with a wet cloth in hand. I wiped Levi down, cleaning all the sweat and cum off his body, before putting the dirty cloth onto the night stand and as I was about to collect my clothes off the floor, I felt a small hand wrap around my wrist weakly once more. Levi and I weren't boyfriends or anything of that sort, so I thought that I really didn't have any right to stay here any longer than necessary.

"Stay. Please.", he mumbled quietly, his voice sounding strained. I gave him a small smile, running a hand through his jet-black locks. I climbed into bed again, wrapping my arms tightly around Levi's torso and pulling him close to me, the raven nuzzling his head into my chest.

In that moment, I let myself hope. I let myself hope that one day, somehow, there could be a 'we'. One day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Comments are always greatly appreciated! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably going to be making adjustments to the summary and tags as the fic progresses, so don't be surprised if anything changes! And oh my gosh, Armin is such a little shit, I love him already.  
> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and since my finals are over soon and I'm graduating in a month, I will have a lot of time to write! But I sometimes still get writer's block when I pressure myself too hard so I'm already apologizing for any slow updates in the future!


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